Government offices are failing to communicate accurately with each other according to police after investigating why three of the countries most well known seaside towns reported their historic wharfs missing overnight. Brighton, Blackpool and Clacton-on-sea councils all made separate calls to police on the same morning reporting the vanishing tourist attractions.
Subsequent reports of the promenades appearing as part of new construction work at the Lords cricket ground where found to be true by officers attending the ground only days after the original thefts.
Further investigations led the police to central government and a memo entitled "Three piers to be suspended from Lords" created originally from a text message.
Police requested the government highlight the dangers of predictive text use, but were simply returned their request printed, with the text "the dangers of predictive text use" overdrawn in bright yellow pen.