The school curriculum taught to British school children, has been criticized today, after the results of research published, revealed, that it has turned them all, into numb skulls......
Further investigation has revealed that 4 out of every 5 teachers, were taught to believe the same nonsense, as that, which is still being taught, in schools, across the UK, today.
Just a few of the Initial findings revealed, that children thought that:
Sir Walter 'Raleigh' was the inventor of the Chopper Bicycle, on account of there being a British bicycle brand, called 'Raleigh'.
The Battle of 'Waterloo' was fought in London's 'Waterloo' Rail Terminal.
Horatio Nelson captained the French Football Team in the 90's
And the Spanish Armada was Spanish Tapas-Style Cuisine.
However, more alarming results, have come from further research.....
These are, that children taught in UK schools, also believe that:
A 'Teacher' is a person who is a direct descendant of the Scottish Whisky Makers -'Teachers'.
The 'Raspberry' Song is sung by 'Raspberries', and not the Goons
The Queen only wears a crown in order to keep her wig on, when it's windy.
Prince Charles only got his ears from a joke shop, because his mother was too poor to afford him proper ones, when he was born.
Margaret 'Thatcher' wasn't really a Prime Minister, she was a person who used to plant sticks, on poor people's roofs.
Einstein was a brand of lager like the brand name 'Stein'.
The TV character of 'Columbo' was played by Christopher 'Columbus'.
A 'Ford' Car is a mobile waterway, as in 'Fjord'.
A 'Remote' Viewer is a 'Remote' Control for a Television and not a Cold War psychic spy.
The religious cult by the name of "The Moonies" were people who came from the 'Moon'.
That Captain 'Cook' was a 'Chef' in the Navy.
The young 'St Pauls' only pulled down the old 'St Pauls' cathedral because his Dad told him to do so.
The English 'Channel' is where you get 'Channel' Perfume from.
When the government announces a freeze on spending it means that they will be putting everyone's purses into the freezer.
Shoplifting is where you lift a shop up and put it somewhere else.
Marco 'Polo' is the maker of the sweet named the 'Polo' mint
A Bulldog is half Bull and half Dog.
Lion's make the sweet called the "Lion Bar".
The Dingo is a type of bell.
The sleeveless sweater called the 'Tank' top is made from 'Tanks'.
Old Mc'Donald' (as in the nursery rhyme) started the Mc 'Donald's' fast food chain.
Global 'Warming' is where God puts the world in an 'oven'.
Lord Horatio 'Kitchener' invented 'kitchens'.
Henry 'Kissinger' invented the 'kiss'
William 'Wallace' was the creator of the 'Wallace' and Gromit animated children's TV series.
Sir Christopher 'Wren' was a bird who got knighted.
William of 'Orange' was the inventor of the 'Orange' mobile phone network.
Francis' Bacon' invented 'Bacon'.
Ronnie 'Barker' was a 'dog'.
The world was flat until someone gave us a bicycle pump to pump it back up again into the giant football it really is.
The startling revelations have prompted a complete educational re-think, but with the problem of who is really educated enough to have the correct answers, since everyone in the UK was taught the same nonsense and everyone in the UK now thinks that there is no point in being educated by someone from overseas unless you plan to emigrate.
So what is the answer, well, no one really knows and so until someone does we shall all have to continue being numb skulls and not learning proper.
More news later, watch this space minus the Brains of Britain.