The BBC have given Baroness Margaret Thatched-Roof a very unusual tribute on her 85th birthday, on which she was too ill, to attend a party in her honour at number 10 Downing Street, hosted by David Cameron......
They debated, on how they are going to lay her to rest when he dies, live on air, something that was guaranteed to make Baroness Thatched-Roof, feel a whole lot better.
Kate Silver-Coffin, hosting the show, started the debate by asking:
"When Baroness Thatched-Roof, dies, should the British Tax Payer, foot the bill, to give her a state funeral, even if they have to starve to death to do so?
Having asked this poignant question, to viewers and studio guests alike, Kate Silver-Coffin, invited people to text or call in, with their views.
One such viewer by the name of Ebenezer Scrooge, texted in from beyond the grave, to say:
"given how much the country needs to save money, in the wake of Labour's overspending, it should be the family of Baroness Thatched-Roof, who foots the bill, not the tax payer, in any event, it's a waste of money, as is, Baroness Thatched-Roof.".
Kate Silver-Coffin replied:
"Good Point, Mr Scrooge, thank you for your beyond the grave, recommendation".
A rather controversial figure, invited to take part in the debate, was none other than Sally Be-a-Cow, the wife of Commons speaker, John Be-a-Cow.
Mrs Be-a-Cow's comment was:
"Baroness Thatched-Roof wrecked the country, when she was in power, and created a greedy, dog eat dog, and selfish society, full of bigots, like herself, and as such, I am not a fan of Baroness Thatched-Roof, she should not have a state funeral, when it would cost the British Taxpayer 3 or 4 million pounds, to afford one, she would be better, being put on the thatched roof of her home, by some jobless yobs, and set alight, after all she is very divisive, and she caused so much unemployment in Britain, which in turn, bred gangs of jobless yobs"
A panellist in the debate, by the name of Tom Trouble-Maker, tried to argue against Mrs Be-a-Cow, by saying that Baroness Thatched-Roof, did bring about, one of the most prosperous periods in UK political history.
Mrs Be-a-Cow replied:
"Don't talk Thatched crap"!
Baroness Warsi-Warmonger, phoned in and said:
"Baroness Thatched-Roof, should have a coffin made from thatch, in keeping with her namesake, and this should be placed on a funeral pyre, in Piccadilly Circus, since Baroness Thatched-Roof was a clown, and it should be set alight by the unemployed and poor, who cannot afford to pay their heating bills, in order to give them a little warmth, in the cold of the current spending cuts"
Tory MP Patrick Mercy-Meddler, from Newark, outraged by Baroness Warsi-Warmongers comment, phoned in to say:
"Baroness Warsi-Warmonger, is as bad as Baroness Thatched-Roof, they have a thatched roof mentality, that being delusions of grandeur, neither deserve such public attention, and it is in poor taste to even discuss a state funeral, for Baroness Thatched-Roof, whilst she only has one foot, in the grave".
Mrs Be-a-Cow, went on to add, that she thought that, if any former Prime Minister, should be afforded a state funeral, it was Tony Blair-Witch, but this sparked of even more angst, amongst those involved in the debate, who clearly hated Tony Blair-Witch.
Even Baroness Thatched-Roof, from her sick bed phoned in, to say that:
"Tony Blair-Witch, was a horrid little twerp of a man, from that common and tacky Labour Party, who is not as deserving as me, of a State Funeral, after all I am a knighted person, unlike him".
Mrs Be-a-Cow outraged by Baroness Thatched-Roof's audacity, replied:
"You have delusions of grandeur, Baroness Thatched-Roof, your head has gone to your Thatched-Roof"!
The switchboard at this point, became jammed with angry listeners, all wanting to say, that they would refuse to pay their taxes, if either Tony Blair-Witch or Baroness Thatched-Roof, were to be allowed, to have a state funeral.
Clearly there is much unrest, and a likelihood of a mass revolt, should state funerals be allowed, for either Tony Blair-Witch or Baroness Thatched-Roof.
One angry listener of this BBC Radio debate, was the infamous Mrs Merton, a TV show presenter, who phoned in to say:
"Now that Baroness Thatched-Roof is dead, are we to organize street parties, to celebrate her passing, only the old ladies down my street, are looking for a good excuse, to throw a party, as they have some flags left over, from the party they threw, to celebrate the end of World War 2"?
Kate Silver-Coffin tried to explain to Mrs Merton, that Baroness Thatched-Roof, had not died, but Mrs Merton replied:
"Then why are we discussing her funeral, the old ladies down my street will be most upset, when I tell them that Baroness Thatcher might out-live them, can't you tell her to hurry up and pop her Cloggs, so that we can re-use our flags and celebrate"?
Mrs Be-a-Cow interrupted at this point in the debate, to say that:
"If all that Mrs Merton is worried about is recycling some World War 2 flags, she must have a screw loose".
Mr Merton, angry at Mrs Be-a-Cow, replied:
"Is there something you are not telling us, about your affairs of state, I mean, you say that Tony Blair-Witch should have a state funeral, but not Baroness Thatched-Roof, he wasn't giving you one, was he"?
Mrs Be-a-Cow replied:
Mrs Be-a-Cow at this point, hastily left the debate, fueling suspicions, that Mrs Merton, might have a valid point.
Kate Silver-Coffin invited listeners to text or call, in if they agreed with the valid point, made by Mrs Merton, upon which the switchboards at the BBC, were jammed solid, with listeners wanting to register a positive response, in favour of Mrs Merton having a valid point.
Kate Silver-Coffin, concluded that there was much disdain for Baroness Thatched-Roof, and the idea of giving her a state funeral, and in view of the many texts and calls, received by the BBC, as a result of the debate, announced live on air:
"The outcome of this debate based on public suggestions, texted and phoned, into the BBC tonight, is that Baroness Thatched-Roof, should be put in a Thatched coffin, together with her broomstick and cast iron dentures, and buried by the Cooperative funeral service, in Dull-Witch, London, as with the likes of Cherie Blair-Witch when her time comes to meet her maker, and speculation is growing as to who this might be.
Theresa May, whose family own the match making company, 'Bryant May' have kindly offered to supply the matches, to ignite the funeral pyre.
More news later, watch this space minus thatched coffins.