Donald Trump has told reporters that thanks to his great and foresightful leadership, the US has now overtaken Italy and China in the Corvid-19 leadership table.
'Some countries have only a few Corvid-19 cases and fatalities, but not us - we'll soon have tens of millions' bragged the excited president 'We're leading the way, and soon we'll be uncatchable. Anyone who disputes that is spreading fake news.'
Reporters who accused the president of not realising that an increasing number of cases and deaths was detrimental to his re-election ambitions, were ordered to 'Meet me in a packed church on Easter Sunday.'