Ahead of the Spending Review the government has revealed it's had a re-think on Child Benefit for the 'don't really need it' brigade. A revised plan means they will now offer a sterilisation bribe to the affluent.
From April next year the government will keep paying Child Benefit for children they already have but they must be sterilised so they don't have any more. The policy would be a welcome boost for the affluent and also highlights the more caring, listening side of the Tories.
"Times are hard and it's hitting them the hardest. We listen and we care and it benefits everyone that these people no longer keep breeding".
The 'bribe' scheme is expected to tackle another large group, namely 15 year old girls, but in this case it will offer iPhones and iPods as an incentive. Boys will be offered the snip as well. Schools will be visited over the coming year and it's targetting a 99.98% take up.
"Obviously it would be good if we could nip this one in the bud and we will extend it further and hope teachers will take the 'bribe' too so they can have safe sex with the pupils. They may be more reluctant as most view it as a perk of the job," said the minister.