There has been a very unfortunate accident in Ireland......
Lord Mayor Jim Dodgers, who is in his 60's, and still thinks he is a spring chicken, tried in vain, to help promote a gourmet food fair, by vaulting over a female council worker, by the name of Lorraine Mellon, she was dressed in a tomato suit, and sat crossed legged, on the ground, in front of bemused spectators at the fair.
Mayor Dodgers, took a short run, before trying to vault over Miss Mellon, but he barely got off the ground, resulting in him kneeing Miss Mellon, in the back of her head, and leaving her in agony.
Miss Mellon, suffered a Slipped Disc, and Mayor Dodgers, suffered bruising to his groin area, not to mention, his meat and two veg.
Mayor Dodgers, was left doubled up in pain, and clutching his meat and two veg, whilst paramedics were called, to take Miss Mellon to hospital.
To say the least, the event, left the pair of them, with very hurt pride, and red faced.
Miss Mellon was as red faced as the Tomato suit she was wearing, Mayor Dodgers was left as red faced, as his meat and two veg.... or rather.....two Tomatoes.
The crowds at the fair, thought the incident very amusing, and jeered comments like:
"Watch your Tomatoes Mayor"
"Miss too plump tomatoes"
Miss Mellon, has since, successfully sued Belfast Council, for damages, and was paid 24,000 Euros, in compensation, out of tax payers hard earned money, which has met with much disdain, and the start of a Leprechaunean revolt....
30,000 Leprechauns descended, onto the steps of Belfast Town Hall shouting:
"Tax payers shouldn't, have to pay, for a Tomato stunt Mayoral accidents"
"Where's the Mayor Dodgers, the Jammie Dodger"
Mayor Dodgers, was forced to face the crowd of angry Leprechaun protestors, but before he could give a riot quelling speech, the Leprechauns pelted him with rotten Tomatoes, and left him red faced once again.
The Irish Garda Leprechaun police, tried to break up the riot, but were also pelted with rotten tomatoes.
The riot got completely out of hand, and the Garda police were left powerless, against the angry Leprechauns, who were demanding that Mayor Dodgers, handed back their 24,000 Euros.
Mayor Dodgers, living up to his name, tried to dodge the Leprechaun rioters, by sneaking behind a line of Leprechaunean Garda police officers, and into his car, parked at the side of the Town Hall, but he was spotted by a canny Leprechaun, by the name of Shamus O'Rioter, who alerted the rest of the protestors.
The Leprechauns jumped onto Mayor Dodgers car, and commenced to bouncing on its roof.
Mayor Dodgers, fearing his life, tried to drive off at speed, 30 Leprachauns fell off the roof, but 3 of them clung onto his windscreen wipers, and tried gallantly, to stay with the vehicle.
A heavy rainfall started, and Mayor Dodgers, tried to switch on the windscreen wipers, causing one Leprechaun to fly off the vehicle, leaving two clinging on to the wing mirrors.
Garda Police, in hot pursuit of the vehicle, tried to order Mayor Dodgers, to stop his vehicle, using loudhailers, but this was ignored.
Eventually, the Garda police managed to head off Mayor Dodgers's car, in a road block, where he was apprehended, for failing to obey Garda police orders.
Mayor Dodgers, was arrested as were the ring leaders, of the riots.
Mayor Dodgers, together with three other Leprechauns, by the names of:
and Sean O'Stunter,
have appeared before Leprechaunian Judge Patrick O'Paddywhack, who told them, in no uncertain terms, that their behaviour left much to be desired, and had brought shame to Ireland.
Mayor Dodgers, told Judge O'Paddywhack, that he was only trying to gain some control, over the protesting Leprechauns, but they refused to listen, and he had had enough of tomatoes, without being pelted with rotten ones.
The three Leprechauns, told Judge O'Paddywhack, that they resented being fleeced for 24,000 Euros, and all for the sake of a failed tomato stunt, by Mayor Dodgers, and so they wanted to teach him a valuable lesson, with more tomatoes.
Judge O'Paddywhack, sentenced them all to 6 months in Belfast County Jail, they will serve their time on the Red Wing, and as an additional punishment, they will be fed on nothing but Tomatoes, for the duration of their sentences.
Mayor Dodgers, has been ordered to pay 24,000 Euros, out of his own pocket, back to the Leprechaun community of Belfast, and a further 1,000 Euros, for court costs, his wages have been suspended, to meet the penalty imposed on him, by Judge O'Paddywhack.
Miss Mellon vows to bin her Tomato suit, and all fund raising activities, and retire to listening to Dessert Island Discs.
More news later, watch this space, minus Tomatoes.