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Vampires, witches and ghost protest at the “over commercialisation” of Halloween
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Picket lines of witches, vampirea and zombies have formed outside branches of Hallmark and Clinton cards demanding an end to the sale of Halloween themed fancy dress costumes and novelties.
One protestor, Zelda Fungal-Spore a witch from East Cheam believes, "We have lost what the spirit (no pun intended) of Halloween truly represents. It was once a time for rituals, such as dancing naked round bonfires. We didn't need special costumes to do that!" Igor Ringworm, a Vampire from Swansea, agress. He added "Small children used to be frightened. They expected to become the victims of human sacrifice, and have their blood drunk. They didn't go around demanding sweets and treats with menaces!". An undead Tax Collector from Newcastle, known simply as Ftumsch, faces a very uncertain future as his job is at threat under the preposed government cuts. He says, "Halloween used to be a very special time in England, however the American commercialization hit and we have relinquished our spirit of tradition to the way of commercialization. It has become nothing more than a Hallmark Holiday, a gimmick for corporations to make millions at this time of the year."
There was a concensous that the blame lay in two quarters, firstly the television programme Scooby Doo. "Nobody is scared of us anymore," complained Zelda. "They just think we are disgruntaled school caretakers and fun fair owners in rubbermasks," added Igor "We get no respect". Secondly the church must take some of the responsibilty. "By complaining, and trying to get Halloween banned, they just make it more popular," claims Ftumsch. "If they just ignored it no one would care."
A spokesperson for the Association of British Pumpkin Grows commented, "Why don't you all go and boil your heads! Add some tomatoes, an onion and a pinch of basil, it makes a nourishing, and warming, winter soup".
with thanks to be reasonable
Posted 5 years ago #
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