Four failing Sat Navs have baffled scientists, two have displayed the symptoms of Tourettes Syndrome, one has developed a stutter and another has problems in pronouncing its Rs. One, fitted to a church community bus has embarrassed parishioners by interjecting verbal instructions with “F**k, s**t, b****cks and chicken,” refusing to be switched off, whilst another stutters so badly that most turnings are passed by the time it spits it out. A worldwide recall of the product is, as yet not expected.
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Scientific community baffled by failing Sat Navs
(20 posts) (12 voices)
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hero2zero
offlineMemberIt seems our earlier report of faulty Sat Navs has prompted a flood of calls to telephone and online help centres. Apparently some devices have developed personality problems, one caller, a burly personal trainer has complained that his Sat Nav has, embarrassingly decided to out itself, calling all directions in a camp and effeminate manner and sulking if a wrong turn has been made, “It accuses me of neglecting it, taking it for granted and never complimenting on efficiency, pleasant manner, eventually refusing to do other than criticise my sense of fashion and driving ability.” Another told how her Sat Nav refused to take other than the scenic route, demanded to have its screen cleaned more regularly and demanded a change of air freshener. Meantime engineers continue their quest to resolve the problems
Posted 2 years ago # -
hero2zero
offlineMemberConcerns have been raised to new heights as the picture over the “Revolting chips” becomes clearer, earlier problems with non-compliant Sat Navs appear to have spread throughout the “Chip World.” Engine management computers seem to have joined the revolt, refusing to accelerate excessively and reducing fuel usage to a minimal level, “It seemed gutless,” one driver told us, his garage being unable to locate the problem, he referred it to the manufacturers only to be told that it had gained a social conscience over damage to the environment. Defence chiefs, who have dubbed the problem “HAL syndrome” have become increasingly worried over the missile systems, suspecting that a launch will require lengthy discussions with the computers over the validity of war, the sanctity of life and their awareness of, “Being.” We await further developments.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Hunter F. Thompson
offlineMemberYou may scoff, but we had a SatNav with an East London accent which gave directions grudgingly and with disdain ("Wacha wanner go vere for?") explaining that it "would be nicer to go to Torquay," and amending the route accordingly. It was very wilful and sometimes impatient with other road users.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Charlie Snibbs
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
Skylarking
offlineMemberAlthough rude, bigoted satnav has indeed been done before on NB (I got caught out by this too) I love the idea of satnav 'doing a HAL' on drivers and think that would make a brilliant sub: the voice misdirecting the car into quarries and reservoirs and declaring things like "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave" when you type an address in. So, erm, for what it's worth, that's the bit I would run with as it's genuinely original.
Posted 2 years ago # -
be reasonable
offlineMember@riesler, a curious thing about 'chavs;' I grew up in rural Kent, and in the 70's we used to call them 'Chats', as in Chat-ham. How this morphed into 'Chav' is beyond me. No matter, they were all monumentally thick; I recall with much relish an incident I witnessed in a pub in Gillingham, where a group of Chats were being a bit nasty to a small, foreign-looking fellow. Unbeknown to them the rest of this Gurkha's squad were in the saloon bar next door. Result - much flowing of claret and an object lesson for the Chats. Happy days!
p.s. perhaps this ought to go in the chat room.Posted 2 years ago # -
Mr.3374
offlineMemberIncidentally, Skylarking, I have "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that" downloaded into my windows media sound files for when my pc hits the wall.
Lesser errors get "Houston, we have a problem".
Which is what her solicitor said at the first divorce hearing.Posted 2 years ago #
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