Driven by their overwhelming success in the recent Spam Olympics, today Nigeria cruised to victory taking Gold in the Commonwealth Games "Freestyle Controversy Medley" discipline with an outstanding team performance in Drug Test Failure.
A spokesperson for the team said "There are always high and lows, and many hurdles to overcome at any of these international Games. After the lows of the accommodation situation, we thought it only right to introduce some highs".
India took Silver with a strong performance in Archery Crowd Noise despite failing to import Vuvuzelas in time for the opening of the Games.
When asked about the Nigerian achievement, a spokesperson for the Australian runners remarked "Well we got off to a false start by failing to score (any drugs), but at least claimed Bronze with, errr, well ... a false start."