Osama Bin Laden surprised friend and foe alike today by announcing a different approach to the making of his video messages ' I feel I need to do something to grab the viewers attention as I believe the old death to the western infadels is just not cutting the mustard anymore' said the cave dwelling leader of Al-Qaeda ' so i'll do something that will definately get their attention by performing a striptease that will mean taking everything off right down to the wedding tackle or the full monty as they know it in the western hemisphere'.
Bin Laden has been rehearsing his act along to a revised version of a renamed Tom Jones song 'you can keep your turban on' with choreography supplied by a well known British dancer and entertainer who wishes to be known as Osama Blair Lionel for the purposes of this work.
British Intelligence have confirmed that Blair Lionel's association with Al-Qaeda has been strictly dance only as the messages that have been de-coded so far have been about highly erotic dance moves such as buttock thrusting, groin twirling and hip gyrating.
Bin Laden hopes to reach out to a new audience with this new video and is quite prepeared to lose all dignity in the eyes of his terrorist colleagues amongst Al-qaeda to do achieve it ' there is a whole new target audience to be captured out there of women who are a mixture of bored housewives or sexually frustrated middle aged spinsters who pass their time watching loose women. For them i'm prepared to do anything to bring forward the message of ridding the Islamic world of western influence and if it means I have to get my tackle out to do it then so be it '.
Western reaction to this news has been particularly subdued but first Lady Michelle Obama did promise to have a look at it on behalf of her husband should the need arise.