In the pursuit of a retirement thrill, a businessman from Ashcloud, Derbyshire UK, has been reduced to ashes.....
Lionel Whipster aged 61, died when his S & M collar strangled him, whilst he was playing a bondage role playing game, with dominatrix Miss Annie Adventure aged 68, and her husband Dick Hard-Son, aged 74.
Miss Adventure, and her equally kinky husband, had shackled Lionel Whipster, to a wooden frame, with several chains, one of which was around his genitals, making him look like a kinky Jesus Christ, but the collar around his neck, was so tight, that Lionel , sadly choked to death.
Blindfolded and wearing a balaclava, Lionel Whipster, was in no position to signal that something was wrong, he had foolishly hidden the key to the huge leather studded collar, in the boiler suit which he was wearing at the time, and Miss Adventure and husband Dick , were unaware of this.
Coroners recorded his death, as being by 'Misadventure', which it was literally, at the hands of Miss Adventure.
Lionel leaves a wife and two children, who are said to be in shock, as they had no idea that Lionel was into bondage or S&M role play, he had told his wife, before leaving the family home that day, that he was going to a 'venture capital meeting', it would appear that it was more of an 'Adventure Decapitation Meeting"!
Lionel Whipster, was found slumped on the floor of the garage, of Miss Adventure's home, which doubles up as an S & M dungeon, he was still shackled and bound, not to mention, partially suspended, in a kinky suspended animation, when the paramedics arrived, by which time he was already dead.
Lionel Whipster's unfortunate end, means that instead of cumming he went, and it was very much a case of who got there first, the intrepid Lionel, or the Grim Reaper, the Grim reaper sadly won by a short squirt.
Miss Adventure, and husband Dick, attended the inquest today, to answer some pretty embarrassing questions, from the Coroner, Mr Ian James Bonding, whom she tried hard, to assure that, quote:
"I am so very sorry, Lionel was a friend, and I never wanted this to happen, we all loved to play with each other, and we were all in our second childhood really, and he lapped up the attention we gave him, but it was a lot of fun, gone wrong".
Miss Adventure, who looks like a kinky version, of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, dressed in Dominatrix Gothic style black leather clothing, and dark hat, walked into the inquest with head held high regardless, whilst husband Dick, looked more like a school headmaster, wearing a shirt and naturally a TIE, not to mention a wry grin, and dark suit.
Police had originally arrested Miss Adventure, and her husband Dick, on suspicion of murder, but prosecutors decided that since there were no signs of gross negligence ,or brutality, they would drop the case, and file the pair under "Kinky Geriatric Delinquency".
Coroner Bonding, told the couple, that they should have known better at their age, and that they should think twice, about stringing vulnerable playmates along, to their doom, he recommended that they restore their garage, to the use, for which it was originally intended, but not until he had been round to sample, life in their dungeon.
"Whatever do you mean" asked Miss Adventure.
Coroner Bonding said that, "like all legal people on benches, he had a great interest in crime and punishment".
Miss Adventure and husband Dick, were thought to be relieved by the outcome of the inquest, but sad that their late friend Lionel, is no longer able, to come round to play.
More news later, watch this space, minus Collars.