Supermarket giant Tescos is to only allow old people to shop at peak times once they have proved their ability to negotiate it's stores without irritating the hell out of other shoppers it has been announced today.
'It's not that we don't want elderly customers,' a Tesco spokesperson revealed 'but we deliver these days, so why clog up the store by shuffling around?'
The initiative comes after feedback at stores showed that busy shoppers lose up to 10 minutes per visit stuck behind an old person stopping without warning in aisles, forgetting pin numbers or counting out an entire payment worth of coppers at tills.
The test will include a simulated walk around a store, where OAPs will be tested on trolley steering and whether they can resist blocking the aisles for 20 minutes whilst talking to Jean from Bingo.
Those who are successful will be awarded a 'Pensioner Plus' card allowing them access during all opening hours. OAPs who can use the self service tills will receive 5000 clubcard points. The unlucky remainder will be allowed in store between 6.30 and 7.30am only.
The decision has sparked outrage amongst charities such as Age Concern who claim that limiting shopping to the early morning will prevent the elderly enjoyong 'markdown madness' at the discount aisle.