A beaming David Cameron emerged from a cost efficiency meeting at the treasury this afternoon with a plan to revise communications between governmental departments by using carrier pigeons for the first time in a hundred years.
'We've been looking at all possible methods to make cost savings within the corridors of power here at Westminster and one of the answers has been literally flying around us all the time' commented Cameron ' with the increase in telecommunication costs and the need to be austere in these difficult times then we need to look at restoring old methods of keeping in contact with each other in a more cost effective way'.
Cameron hopes to employ the services of ex-deputy prime minister John Prescott to advise on setting up the new inter-departmental pigeon carrier service for no other reason than ' well he's one of those northern chappie's and to my knowledge they are all into pigeons up there , including racing them I believe'.
Prescot will be requistioned for three months to get the pigeon messaging service off the ground where aswell as training the birds themselves he will be expected to work around the clock in building lofts at the top of every ministry in Whitehall .
Prescott seemed unhappy about being asked to do this task ' just because i'm from up north doesn't mean that southern lardy da Cameron can assume my family kept bloody pigeons' but for his next comment Prescott's anger would have been justified ' having said that my dad and my dad's dad and his dad's dad and his dad before him all kept pigeons and were all racing champions i'm proud to say'.
Minister for the Environment and rural affairs Caroline Spelman added her voice to the subject by saying ' it can only be good for the environment to use a natural means of providing a service without burning off any sort of fuel. There's already thousands of pigeons flying around central london so why not make good use of them in a constructive way instead of letting them shit all over tourists and Nelsons Column on a daily basis'.