Yesterday's verdict of not guilty in the trial of David Duckenfield, match commander at the time of the Hillsborough disaster, has left scousers in desperate need of someone else to blame for what happened that day.
In a meeting of the Blame Someone Else Committee, hastily convened in the Wetherspoons nearest the courtroom, campaign coordinator Potat O'Blight offered a number of suggestions.
"If we can't blame de police for opening de gates, how about de company what made de gates? Or dem bastards what oiled dem so dey'd open smoothly like?" This was met with general approval, since both categories would be people with jobs and therefore unlikely to be scousers.
"Dat's roight," agreed co-chair Gir O'Scrounger. "Cos if de gates hadn't a been opened, we couldn'a forced our way through and crushed all dem people up front."
The authorities meanwhile said they were sorry scousers were unhappy with the verdict, and said they hoped every single VAR decision going Liverpool's way until the end of time would help make up for it.
