Not to be disheartened by finding 39 murder victims in the back of a refrigerated trailer, Boris Johnson insisted that Britain’s delivery of slaves and sex workers will be as reliable as ever. He explained that post-Brexit the UK would continue to be a world leader in dead refugees and will be in a position to strike its own trade deals with traffickers and friends of Prince Andrew.
The Conservatives confirmed they were committed to growing vital industries; such as brothels, sweat shops and Brexit secretaries: ‘We will free ourselves of burdensome EU red tape and ensure a free-flow of dead Syrians’.
In Ireland, the hard border will only exist for normal goods and services, while arms smugglers and drug dealers will continue to be fast-tracked. Which is great news for Priti Patel and Michael Gove respectively.
A No.10 source said: ‘People are concerned about lorry congestion around Dover, but if your cargo is all dead, what's the delay of a few hours? Yes, 39 dead bodies are a tragedy - a big lorry like that - we could have squeezed in many, many more’.