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MADJEZ
offlineMember
Animal welfare experts have criticized the chain for allowing an infinite number of monkeys to try to make the perfect cup of coffee. Numerous animals were scalded by boiling hot water and steam during the failed experiment.
The monkeys were only able to make bitter sludge, so no better than the rest of Costa's staff.
wolfie
offlineMember
In a statement, Costa's staff said they were offended at the comparison, stating that they were in no way similar to monkeys. This was hotly followed by a statement from the monkeys, declaring: "we are offended at the advert comparison, and we point out we are in no way similar to Costa's staff."
Animal Rights campaigners have expressed concerns as to whether the monkeys in the ad were wild...
"Wild... we were livid!" was the reply, uttered between banana bites and watching old videos of Rowan Atkinson, in a classic sketch where he was dressed in an amusing Costa Coffee uniform, and yet still spoke intelligent English.
On a lighter note, some of the monkeys have gone on to fruitful careers as a "Costa's-a-gram", delighting party-goers with their inept movements, indecipherable grunting, and unspeakable personal hygiene...
wolfie
offlineMember
To reassure the public on the issue of animal cruelty, Costa commissioned some tedious mathematicians to point out that although there were injuries, seeing as there was only a finite number of burns from the infinite monkey group, the true number of burns was actually zero, and no harm was done. A spokes-monkey for the monkeys delivered a crushing mathematical counter-hypothesis to this by crapping on their heads.
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