A dinner lady working in St Mary's Primary School in County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland, has been accused of grooming a boy of 9 years old.
'Oliver Twist'-Cookie, asked dinner lady Pat Lavery-Groom, if he might 'more' biscuits, after his school dinner.
Pat Lavery-Groom was happy to oblige' and gave him one biscuit to eat' and used another with chunks missing out of its side, to comb and groom his hair.
The headmistress of the school Letitia Leprechaun, saw Pat Lavery-Groom, combing little Oliver Twist-Cookie's hair with the biscuit, and immediately snatched it off her, she was caned 20 times in front of the children, in the school dining room.
Oliver Twist-Cookie, told his parents what happened, on arrival home from school, and they reported the matter to Social Services, who have accused Pat Lavery-Groom, of 'grooming' Oliver, by bribing him with a biscuit, so that he would let her groom/comb his hair with another.
Oliver Twist-Cookie, who was happy savouring the taste of the biscuit, looked like he had dandruff, as result of having his hair groomed/combed with a biscuit.
Barb Barber-Wire, the senior Social Worker from the local Social Services department, called an emergency case conference over the incident, and a recommendation was made, to place Oliver Twist-Cookie ,on the 'At Risk of Biscuit Dandruff Register', as long as he wanted to continue attending the same school.
Police attending the Social Services Case Conference, ruled that they were going to make this incident, a criminal matter.
Pat Lavery-Groom, was subsequently arrested and take to County Fermanagh Magistrates Court, where she appeared before Leprechaunian Magistrate Patrick Kit-Kat, who demanded to know, what had possessed Pat Lavery-Groom, to think she could get away with grooming a boy's hair with a chipped comb-like biscuit, and bribing him to let her do so.
Pat Lavery-Groom, told the court, that she had mistaken Oliver, for a 'Ginger Nut', as he has red hair.
Leprechaunian Magistrate Patrick Kit-Kat, told Pat Lavery-Groom, that she should consider getting her eyes tested, and think twice about bribing children with a free biscuit and hair grooming, as this was not 'politically correct' in this day and age, to do such things to vulnerable little children like Oliver.
Patrick Kit-Kat, had no choice, but to order Pat Lavery-Groom, pay a fine of 20,000 packets of Ginger Nut biscuits, plus a free hair cut for Oliver Twist-Cookie, at the local barbers, and 20,000 bowls of porridge, in compensation to Oliver Twist-Cookie, plus 200 Euro's, in court costs.
Pat Lavery-Groom, has since been sacked from her job, and sent to work in the Mc Vities Biscuit factory canteen, she will not be allowed to work dishing out desserts, sweets or biscuits, to any of the 3,000 strong workforce.
Oliver Twist-Cookie, has returned to the school and is having to do without biscuits, until he gets home from school each day.
More news later, watch this space, minus biscuits.