David Goose of Oswestry, Shropshire has the blood of 20 million Iranian's on his careless fingers today after inadvertently launching a nuclear strike on the middle eastern nation when tapping in his security code to gain access to his internet based bank account went wrong.
'How was I suppose to know that one simple mistake on my security code for my Nationwide on-line account was going to immediately connect with me the Pentagons mainframe defence system computer' remarked a bewildered Mr Goose ' I was only going on to see if my gas direct debit had gone out but instead all hell breaks loose for just inputting a 1 instead of a 3'.
By a zillion to one chance Mr Goose managed to input the exact firing codes for a strike of 50 missiles to take place at 0800 hours this morning. The codes were so secret that even President Obama didn't know them and overrided the nesssacity to have his permission to launch them.
' We're all amazed as anyone here at the Pentagon that something like this could happen' said media liason for the Pentagon Ed Barrington ' everyone was going about their days work as normal and next minute all we could here was the computer whirring into action and then to our amazement we get a message from the launching site in the Nevada desert that the missiles had been launched successfully. All we could do was sit there opened mouthed'.
President Barak Obama was not available for comment but one of his closet aides made an emergency statement on his behalf, ' we're all deeply sorry that this mistake has happened but on the other hand if they'd have played ball with the inspections, those missiles wouldn't have been pointed at them in the first place, so whose really to blame'.
Meanwhile back in England Mr Goose bemoaned his bad luck ' if it isn't bad enough to have started world war three, I then find out my bloody gas payment didn't go through'.