UK Prime Minister David Cameron, has revealed that he has a bizarre sense of humour today, as it has been revealed that he has made a ruling, to his cabinet ministers, that they are to take the tube home from work, but their cabinet papers will follow them home in a state funded limousine!
A Hummer stretch Limousine, has been paid for by the British tax payer, to transport 171 boxes of cabinet paperwork home every night of the week, from Downing Street, to the 171 cabinet ministers homes, with explicit instructions to leave them with a neighbour, if the Cabinet minister doesn't arrive home before his paperwork, or failing that, to leave them on his/her doorstep!
One minister critical of the move, is Theresa May, who claims that she arrived home to find the15 year old delinquent son of her neighbour, sitting on his doorstep, setting fire to her paperwork, with a box of Bryan May matches, he had been given her paperwork, by the chauffer of the limousine, which brought her paperwork home ahead of her.
30 state secrets were destroyed in the incident, leaving David Cameron somewhat red faced, to 'match' the tatty red attaché case, that had contained the said paperwork.
Kenneth Clarke, another cabinet minister and secretary of state for Justice, has revealed that he arrived home to find that his wife had been cleaning his Hush Puppy shoes on his paperwork, laid out on their kitchen table, he was irate but his wife simply looked puzzled and said:
"Well I thought it was the usual rubbish you bring home with you, so I thought it would be ok for cleaning your Hush Puppies on Dear".
All Manner of legal paperwork, was left covered in suede cleaner, and to say the least, a tad smelly, as are the laws.
Phillip Hammond, who is the secretary of state for Transport, came home to find his paperwork being used by his son for cleaning motorbike oil off his moped, he was under the impression, that it was used paperwork, so it didn't matter if he used it for his moped.
George Osborne, the chancellor of the Exchequer, came home to find that his teenage daughter, had gone out and tried to spend his paperwork, thinking that it was money, she claimed that she had had a 'blonde moment', but her father was not amused.
Chris Huhne, the secretary of state for energy and climate change, came home to find that his wife had gone green, and used his paperwork to start a fire and light their wood burning stove, her excuse was, that she was trying to follow his instructions to recycle all paper, and use scrap paper for fires, he was unable to understand, how his wife, could possibly, mistake his cabinet paper work, for scrap paper.
In the wake of these incidents David Cameron, has ruled that in future, ministers will be chauffer driven home in Hummers and their paperwork will travel home on the London Tube Trains.
More news later, watch this space.... minus ministerial scrap paper.