Groundbreaking research into arousal levels experienced by traffic wardens has demonstrated that 94% of male wardens experience a state of semi-tumescence and 86% of female wardens admit to being a bit ‘Ally McCoist’ when issuing tickets, which cannot be explained entirely by so-called provocative parking.
The extreme levels of arousal are thought to explain why people continue to work as traffic enforcement officers, despite most of the public believing wardens to be exclusively ‘cockmangles’ and ‘little Hitlers’.
Council bosses are also worried about cuts in budgets adversely affecting uniform provision. One head of enforcement told us, “We make the trousers with a special pouch to avoid what we call ‘the tent pole’. I don’t know if we can afford this in the future.”