(A slightly tweaked version of a previous sub)
There are hopes the 33 satirists trapped in a Chilean miner meme could be reached for rescue as early as this weekend. Rescue teams have drilled to within 100 metres of the professional comedy writers, who became trapped when a seam of potential satire that they were exploring collapsed after being practically mined hollow.
According to colleagues, the team began digging for material following the news that a group of Chilean miners were trapped underground. ‘The theme of several men, stuck for months down a mineshaft with no-one but themselves for company… well, it’s no surprise that these writers chose to exploit it,’ explained one leading internet satirist. ‘With all due deference to those miners and their families, that’s comedy gold that is.’
Experts have accused the satirists of probing the meme without first taking the necessary precautions. ‘The situation had already been extensively mined by amateur joke writers and freelance bloggers, so the whole thing was shaky from the start. Scraping any useable punchlines from the bottom of the meme would have taken the kind of skill that many writers lack. At the very least they should have secured the services of a physical comedian and used props to keep the ceiling from falling in.’
Leading the rescue effort is Hilary Shearbourne, producer of Have I Got News for You? Her crack team of stand-up comedians has drilled a relief shaft through a nearby stratum of Commonwealth games news, but has found that the going is tough. ‘We're drilling perilously close to a hollow pocket of child benefit jokes, which might compromise the entire operation unless we can divert the drill into Norman Wisdom's obituary sometime soon.’
Rescuers are said to be considering a back-up plan, where proof readers from the BBC Writers’ Room will send rejected material from Mock the Week down a supply chute. ‘If this doesn’t force them to claw their way screaming back to the surface, nothing will.’