David Cameron as Thomas the Tank Engine
Tony, Edward and Gordon as themselves
Rt Hon Eric Pickles as the Fat Controller
Narrator played mischieviously by Ms Cushion
* * * * * *
Thomas: - I spend my time pulling coaches about, ready for you to take out on journeys!
Narrator:- The other engines laughed.
Thomas: - Why can’t I pull passenger trains, too?!
Tony, Edward, and Gordon: - You’re too impatient. You’d be sure to leave something behind.
Thomas: - Rubbish! I’ll show you!
* * * * * * *
Thomas - It is an honour and a privilege to stand here, before the party I lead, before the country I love, as the Conservative prime minister of the United Kingdom.
I want to tell you today, in the clearest terms I can, what we must do together, and what we can achieve together.
Narrator - Yes Thomas but you are scaring all the passengers
Thomas - Look what we’ve done in five months. Just imagine what we can do in five years…
The Fat Controller: - Hello! Remember, don’t be impatient, Thomas. You can never be as strong and fast as Gordon, but you can be a really useful engine. Don’t let the silly fucks[s] trucks tease you.
Thomas: - From top-down to bottom-up. From state power to people power. The big society spirit blasting through. Peep! Peep! Peep!
Narrator- -Well, it made me laugh anyway…
* * * *
Real excerpts taken from the Thomas the Tank Engine series written by the Rev WV Awdry and David Camerons 2010 Conservative Conference speech. Some other bits totally made up : )
(P.S.. some people (2678 on Facebook ) seem to think Dave looks more like Hooray Henry… )