Plans to cut the child benefit he depends on to feed and clothe his family has caused a rift between one of the country’s most celebrated fathers and Tory leader David Cameron .
Property tycoon Lord God, head of global investment agency Heaven and Earth Inc was left fuming when it was announced at the Tory party conference that child benefit was to be cut for the highest earners.
Lord God, a single parent who has a family of around 6.8 billion children scattered around the world was just one of the many protestors who challenged the Tory decision, pointing out there was no mention of this proposal in the pre-election manifesto
Cameron has hit back at God by telling him he should get his own House in order before criticising Tory policies that are aimed at cutting waste , saving tax payers money and reducing the nation’s deficit.
It was pointed out that God’s original contract for making the Heaven and the Earth was for 6 days with one day set aside for resting and here we were, 4.6 billion years later and way over budget, still waiting for the keys to be handed over.
Cameron was also critical of eldest son Jesus who left before his work here on Earth was done with the job only half finished and promises of ‘a second coming ringing in our ears’. No doubt got his team working on some other job before he's even half way through the conversion he started.
‘Another example of Labour’s carefree spending of tax payer’s money’. Said Cameron
George Osborne was also quick to attack God for reneging on his earlier promises by warning him that even if the meek do eventually inherit the Earth it will still be subject to the higher level of capital gains and furthermore, any income received on his Heaven enterprise earned here in the UK will also be subject to the usual 40% taxation levels.
God tried to hit back at Cameron with threats of unleashing another 10 plagues that would drive the Tories back into the wilderness for ever but Cameron pointed out that the people had voted in a fair and democratic election to install the likes of Soames, Gove, Pickles and Fox to run the country.
God took one look at the hapless plague of frogs, lice, boils, locusts and darkness he had assembled...........and started rocking gently from side to side. Sobbing silently, dejectedly – a broken man who played the game but came up short once again.
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Nobby Holder
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago #
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