British swimming medallists have revealed that their intense training regimens were enhanced by the use of products containing friendly bacteria. “We discovered that the consumption of large quantities of Yakult gave us a distinct advantage in the water” said Gold medallist James Goddard. “It’s amazing how easily I can trot to victory, apparently just leaving my competitors floundering about in my wake”.
The revelations were followed by news that fellow English swimmer Francesca Halsall missed out on gold to Alicia Coutts from Australia. Coutts had apparently upped the stakes by drinking local water during her preparations for the race. “The Brits strategy leaked out of their camp, so I thought I’d give it a go” Coutts said after the race, “I didn’t really know what the magnitude of the effect would be, but you can see I got into the pool with some urgency and just rocketed to victory”. Halsall was not immediately available for interview after the race and speculation is growing that her timing in the pool was not quite right. Anti-doping chiefs have ruled out routine testing for norovirus, adding “who’s going to try to collect that with a test tube?”
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Delhi swimming medallists power to victory with explosive runs
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