New Hope for the worlds Politicians and country leaders was revealed today, they are to have grants given to them, for brain transplants, after scientists found that 10 out of every 10, world leaders and politicians, had suffered severe retardation of their brain cells at birth, on account of their huge heads being too big, to make it down the birth canal, without injury.
Brain Crushing Syndrome (BCS) has been found to be incurable, other than for a complete brain transplant operation.
The brains of Monkeys on life support machines will be used for the transplants with parental permission of Monkey donors.
There have been a mass of applications from world leaders and politicians who are now keen to have this revolutionary treatment, thanks to favourable voting by the public, in every country, who have been to the ballot boxes in their millions to vote in this new regulation.
Masses of new trees will be planted in every country in the world, so that world leaders and politicians, can get into the swing of their new found intellect, there will be no need for newspapers as a result, as the population of the world will now be able to rely upon the new "Jungle Telegraph".
One of the first public figures to be booked in for this amazing new treatment is former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown and second to that has been former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair Witch.
Already this revolutionary new treatment is a big hit in the UK.
Tony Blair will be programmed to stop writing rubbish and publishing it, whilst Gordon Brown will be programmed to stop calling decent old ladies bigots.
Another former UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, has also opted for a mouth transplant to stop her mouth being so emotive in public.
Margaret Thatcher will have her brain programmed to stop her from having delusions of grandeur and to remain silent for the rest of her life.
In the US, George W Bush and Sarah Palin are amongst the first in the queue for this new treatment.
George Bush will have his brain programmed to ensure he gets his phone the right way up from now on whilst Sarah Palin will have hers programmed to cure her addiction to drinking tea, wearing frumpy old maid suits and talking too much without stopping for breath, not to mention being addicted to Margaret Thatcher.
Osama Bin Laden is one of the first in the middle east to be put forward for this operation which is very encouraging as hopefully it will see an end to the terror campaign he has headed.
He will have his new brain programmed to ensure he stays away from swinging around tower blocks in large cities and has a phobia of planes to stop him from ever boarding one.
There is now some hope for the planet and for humanity, we shall of course keep you up to date with who is next on the list for a new brain and what it will be programmed to do.
More news later, watch this space.
