An amazing discovery has been made today, by astronomers manning the Keck telescope in Hawaii, it is a new planet with all of the attributes of Earth.
Excited by this discovery, astronomers announced, that they believed that the chances of finding life on this planet were 100%, but after further scrutiny, astronomers were dismayed to find, that it is inhabited, by a form of life that only attempts to mimic human beings.....
Planet Tax-it, in the Goldilocks Zone, and close to the planet Gilese-fix-it 999, appears to be inhabited with what astronomers have nicknamed the three bearers of bad news, these being Tax officers and other Jacks in office to include Traffic Wardens, and benefits agency staff, Politicians and Social Workers.
It is now clear to astronomers watching planet Tax-it, that they commute to earth daily, in UFO's ,made at the new Area 51, in New Mexico USA, and commute back again by the same means.
These three lots of bearers of bad news and taxation, are believed by astronomical scientists, to be a breed apart from the human race on earth, who have been puzzled, as to where these types of people actually lived, right back in time and since the beginning of the human race.
Tony BlairTony Blair Witch and wife CherieCherie Blair Witch, are believed to be the recently elected leaders, of the New Labour Pure Evil Party, which inhabits the capital city of Cock and Bull, on the dark side of this planet.
Tony Blair's book "A Satanic Journey to and from Earth", has now been banned from being sold on earth, and all copies have now been shipped to Planet Tax-it, at the tax payers expense, here on earth, where the Jacks in office can read it to their iron heart's content, and at their leisure.
Planet Tax-it, is funded by the revenue which is derived from that fleeced out of the human race here on earth every year, and thus it is a dishonestly funded and supported planet.
The UFO's were also funded by the heavy tax, imposed on the human race here on earth, as were the homes in which these three types of bearer of bad news, are housed on planet Tax-it.
Scientists are now looking into means by which they can block these three types of bearer of bad news from commuting between here and their own planet, a hydrogen bomb has been considered.
Steven Vogt, UC professor of astronomy and astrophysics, said that the worst thing about these three types of bearer of bad news, is that they are cunning enough to be able to masquerade as near enough human in appearance, apart from their stiff upper lips, which are a dead give-away, and the fact that they are robotic, and void of human emotion or altruistic nature.
The only hope now for planet earth, and indeed humankind, is if scientists can find a means of blocking these three types of bearers of bad news, from ever returning to earth.
Meanwhile protestors, headed by Peter Caravan-Ambler and Dorothy Atkins-Sky, have organized protests countrywide, whereby angry local constituents are now chanting "Three Bearers of Bad news out", "Pack them off on a one way ticket never to return", and "Tamper with their UFO's so they can't get back to earth"!
Hopefully real soon, the real humans on earth, will find a means to block these three bearers of bad news from ever returning, meanwhile rest assured, that scientists are doing all possible to save us from these visiting aliens.
You are advised to pay no more tax in the meantime, or to pay any more parking tickets or fines and do NOT let any of these three types of bearer of bad news into your homes, you must protect yourselves and your families, at all costs.
More news later, watch this space