A glitch in The David Cametron’s programming has left him currently unable to assume all five of his possible facial expressions. An aide and second line support technician to The Cametron said, ‘We’re working hard to fix the glitch and predict David should be back to full facial capacity in a couple of days.’
The problem was first noticed during the election campaign, said the aide: ‘It was taking longer and longer for David’s processor to switch from “Face 2”, or “Naughty Fiscal Puppy Is Sorry For All The Mess He’s Going To Make”, as we call it. But now, because of the number of “Together – In the National Interest” policies he’s been announcing at conference, he seems to have reprogrammed “Face 2” as his default setting.’
‘It could have been worse,’ the aide continued, ‘David’s systems could have frozen while displaying “Face 4!”’ More commonly known as the Bullingdon Countenance, “Face 4” is widely credited with getting The Cametron elected Conservative Leader but remains inexplicably unpopular with the electorate.