The Conservatives continued their assault on Middle England today by announcing that any family with a higher rate tax payer must offer free sexual services to the poor or unemployed.
Announcing the policy Chancellor George Osborne said that should a stay at home Mum have a partner earning more than the £44,000 high rate threshold then from 2013 they would be legally bound to give anyone who has been out of work for more than six months a free seeing to at least three times a week.
Ian Duncan Smith defended the policy today, saying that during times of austerity those with the biggest breasts should be prepared to embrace more of the load. "We've been trialling this already in Kenilworth and the reports from the housewives who fell into this bracket said they found it hard but fair" he claimed yesterday.
The Left Leaning Think Tank, Public Policy Research, however accused the government of not thinking matters through. "This could mean a hard working father of four goes to work on a salary of £43,000, gets a 3% annual pay rise and comes home to find his wife been seen to by the same group of lads that were chucking bricks through his back window only the week before. At least there should be some sort of taper relief, perhaps a quick flash of the tits up to £50k and then lets see where we go from there."
Mr Osborne seemed determined to push this through as rapidly as possibly however as he closed the press conference early, before producing a copy of David Camerons pay slip and after a brief argument with the Prime Minister, disappeared off round the back of the stage with his wife Samantha.