The US State Department are considering plans to boost the profile of President Barack Obama after his role as 'Leader of the Free World' was overshadowed in conversations by a combined discussion of Cheryl Cole's choice of 'final three' on X Factor and whether representatives from Wales should have attended the flood-stricken Commonwealth Games 'given how crap they are at everything'.
A recent multiple-choice poll taken in the UK shows that the general public believe Obama to be 'that golfer who, you know, shagged that bird'. This has prompted US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to begin working to restore the visibility of the previously popular figurehead. 'We are considering several avenues to increase President Obama's presence in the public's conscience in the UK, and have not ruled out the predictable option of a gay sex scandal or even acting as quizmaster on pub gaming machines,' said Mrs Clinton at a recent press conference.
'We've been pushing the President's recent appearance in the iconic UK monthly 'The Beano' with little effect,' she said, 'and no-one took any notice when we published a video of him whispering something perverse to Harriet Harman, only to find a heavily plagiarised version by some Labour back-bencher was getting blanket news coverage and several minutes of pint-supping banter.'
In a strategic bid to bolster his television presence and associated tea-time chatter, the President is set to make his own guest appearance on 'The X Factor' despite his inability sing or dance, and reportedly appears 'wide-eyed and comically inebriated' in order to gain press coverage. 'Apparently it's been done before, to great effect,' said Clinton. 'It may well have the unfortunate side effect of turning the President into sixth member of Take That, but that's a risk we're willing to take.'