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1. 

   throngsman
   

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   Mid month and Wren is back on form. Full list of links to subs on blog

   

   Posted 1 year ago #

2. 

   throngsman
   

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   Well, Wren kept up the pressure and wins this month's virtual mug, but not without a struggle as Chippy hounded him to the end. As usual all the links are on the blog and the tickers are below the leaderboard.

   

   4crosses

   Departing Kompany

   Adrian Bamforth

   People of all races and creeds come together in unity over Madonna performance
   PM’s ‘bold new offer’ rumoured to include throwing in a free set of wine glasses
   WIP Brian Walden. More Soon.

   Al Opecia

   Labour and Tory Brexit teams finally agree “Clusterfuck means Clusterfuck”.
   May confident that an overwhelming vote against her party is a vote for her.
   Tories despair as Grayling put in charge of May’s Departure Timetable. More soon
   Tory Party to appear on one-off Kyle Show Christmas Special. More soon.

   Beckfordburger

   Kyle offered summer job at Dignitas to help deal with the backlog. More soon

   Bonjonelson

   “Well Jeremy, we have ITV’s decision in this envelope, but before I open it…”

   Bookiesfriend

   Boris Johnson to appeal to European Court of Justice over summons. More soon.
   People having less sex but country still completely fucked confirms survey

   Bravenewmalden

   Britons celebrate successful leap out of frying pan
   Local elections signal return to ‘not giving a shit’ for Brexit voters
   Network Rail to ‘pull out all the stops’ to make new timetables work. More soon.

   Chipchase

   Calamitous Day as Deadwood Stage stops off at Boot Hill. More soon
   Tommy’s milkshake brings all his thugs from the car…

   Deskpilot3

   Change UK considers changing its name to No Overall Control

   Dick Everyman

   Boris polishes best clown shoes and dons favourite squirty-buttonhole in PM bid
   Cabinet deal allows Theresa May to quit but stay on in Number 10 granny flat
   Gavin Williamson’s mum threatens to sort out bullies once and for all.
   Jamie Oliver creates new Italian dish: Parmigiano in Amministrazione
   Pangolins ecstatic as Duke and Duchess of Sussex help prevent extinction of human race. More soon.
   Perfectly preserved desert island hut probably belonged to Robinson Creosote
   Theresa May fails to negotiate latest book deal offers. More soon.
   Wallis Simpson ‘not connected’ to Emperor Akihito’s abdication says Royal pundit

   Dominic_mcg

   B&Q staff told “This is not a drill!” More soon.
   Navy detonates WW2 mine but Isle of Wight survives. More soon.
   Theresa May polishes turd one last time. More soon.
   Trump wins snooker final but did Putin help? More soon.
   Spice Girls and middle aged male fans still knocking them out. More soon.

   Guido Drapatolli

   Flotsam and Leadsom
   Grayling not sacked yet

   Mick Turate

   Chris Grayling apologises for Summer timetable chaos before it happens.
   Downing Street cat to stand for Tory leadership. More soon.

   Midfield Diamond

   UEFA expresses support for Brexit to give other teams a chance. More soon.

   Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

   WhatsApp to be rebranded Oy Vey. More soon

   Newsdesk

   Fu Manchu appointed as Defence Secretary.
   National Crime Agency demands 3 billion pounds – with menaces
   Pensioners jailed for licence fee evasion entitled to TV in their cells.

   nickb

   Gavin Williamson tops Sunday Times Snitch List. More soon.
   Tearful Mrs May is victim of hostile environment

   Oxbridge

   Wookie in a hole

   Riesler

   Tory leadership pageant moves on to the swimsuit round. More soon.

   RogerG

   End of May means end of May?

   ron cawleyoni

   David Cameron ecstatic as West Villa United win promotion. More soon.
   Madonna: Not a Prayer.
   Now on BBC Radio 4 a new soap drama about family life in Cambridge: The Archies. More Soon.
   Radio DJ confesses: ‘I don’t really care what you’re doing this Bank Holiday Monday’. More soon.
   Tinker Tailor Soldier Whale.

   Scronnyglonkle

   Chinese government offer Police Williamson phone call transcript

   Sir Lupus

   Charles changes mum’s mobile ringtone to “Turning Japanese”
   Oliver launches Jamie’s Jobcentres for people he’s just made redundant.

   Skylarking

   WH Smith voted ‘worst public library’ fourth year in a row

   Sydalg

   French baker accused of putting morphine in bread “was just giving pain relief”. More soon.
   Starr makes amends by leaving body to hamster food factory. More soon.

   Titus

   Boris trial jury expected to split 48/52%. More soon.
   Hamster detained after Man’s death in Spain claims: ‘It was him or me’
   Jamie’s Restaurants Re-Open To Sell Milkshakes In ‘Remain’ Constituencies
   Suffered A Cabinet Sacking Which Was Not Your Fault? Contact WeDefendAnyone.com
   World stops rotating as team wins/loses a footy match somewhere

   Tonymc81

   If Theresa May was an alien, would she be a Klingon?
   Ministers to be issued with temporary visitors passes for Downing Street

   YaBasta

   Alastair Campbell “capable of changing party allegiance in 45 minutes”. More soon.

   Posted 1 year ago #

3. 

   sydalg
   

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   Congrats to Wren - and this month's winner gets the bonus prize of leadership of the Tory party.

   Posted 1 year ago #

4. 

   Titus
   

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   - and this month's winner gets the bonus prize of leadership of the Tory party.

   Brilliant! And thanks for all your work.

   Congrats to Wren - good stuff and a load of larfs from him as usual.

   Posted 1 year ago #

5. 

   

   Wrenfoe
   

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   Thanks, folks.

   & big thanks to Throngsman & everyone else for all the other great stories.

   Posted 1 year ago #

6. 

   Chipchase
   

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   Well done Wren. Great month.

   And well done everyone else too.

   As always a Big Up to TM for filling in the forms and keeping tabs.

   Posted 1 year ago #

7. 

   farmer giles
   

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   Yes, well done Wrenfoe, considering you are also the editor.

   Posted 1 year ago #

8. 

   dominic_mcg
   

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   Congrats to Wren and thanks to the Throngster.
   Well done all.

   Posted 1 year ago #

9. 

   nickb
   

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   Congrats Wren and thanks as ever Throngsman

   Er there may have been a clerical error, though. I managed, through sheer luck, to have 5 FPs in May - 11th 18th 23rd 27th & 30th, I think

   Posted 1 year ago #

10. 

    throngsman
    

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    The blog appears to back you up. I'm off out so can't address this until tomorrow. I seem to have some gremlins in my spreadsheet - time to get it up on jacks, I think. Apologies.

    Posted 1 year ago #

11. 

    nickb
    

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    Thanks! It's only a game!

    Posted 1 year ago #

12. 

    Newsdesk
    

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    So is Russian roulette.

    Posted 1 year ago #

13. 

    sydalg
    

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    Now that's an idea - it would be more interesting if the runner-up of WOTM had to commit ritual suicide.

    Posted 1 year ago #

14. 

    FlashArry
    

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    ... if the runner-up ... had to commit ritual suicide

    It would gee up the Conservative leadership contest too !

    Posted 1 year ago #

15. 

    Newsdesk
    

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    it would be more interesting if the runner-up of WOTM had to commit ritual suicide.

    It would also increase your chance of getting your work on the front page.

    Posted 1 year ago #

16. 

    throngsman
    

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    Reading the writer's guide might help, too. Just general advice.

    Posted 1 year ago #

17. 

    Chipchase
    

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    if the runner-up of WOTM had to commit ritual suicide.

    This hasn't been thought through properly - particularly in respect of May's result...

    Posted 1 year ago #

18. 

    throngsman
    

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    I think this is more accurate. I'd added a space after the b in the first event of you getting a FP - Excel then autofilled the other four times with a space and I hadn't checked. I think I diddled DE out of a point (now restored) by the same error.

    

    Posted 1 year ago #

19. 

    TechGuy
    

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    Key Master

    I got trapped inside the trump baby blimp and have finally been released so I can perform the mugging.

    A mug for wrenfoe and a six shooter and single bullet for chip ...

    Congrats to all and thanks to throngsman

    Posted 1 year ago #

20. 

    sydalg
    

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    Thanks TechGuy. You kept poor Wren waiting nearly as long as Prince Charles for his rightful crown.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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