The British public are being asked to maintain ‘extreme vigilance’ and report anything ‘suspicious or unusual’ after intelligence received by the communications regulatory body OFCOM indicated that an attack of ‘vague yet highly charged and inflammatory language’ may occur ‘at any time.’
The announcement follows the Foreign and Commonwealth Office’s decision to increase the terrorism alert for British travelers from ‘general’ to ‘high.’ Travelers to European destinations such as France and Germany are being warned that there is a high risk of a ‘indiscriminate and devastating attack from Al Qaeda without warning.’
However, Ed Richards, the chief executive of OFCOM stated that, ‘It is at these times that the British people are most vulnerable to hyperbole, as the focus on the terrorist threat renders their ‘reactionary bullshit’ filters useless. We have therefore raised the “vague inflammatory language” alert-status in the hope that we can limit the number of people being afflicted by “inflammatory language-related xenophobia” whilst they are too busy looking for bona-fide Jihadists.’
The Metropolitan Police have surprisingly supported the announcement from OFCOM, after their resources were stretched by an overnight surge in unsubstantiated reports of suspicious foreigners ‘who look like terrorists’ handing packages of ‘funny smelling hot stuff’ to people in numerous buildings advertising themselves as ‘takeaways.’
Metropolitan Police Comissioner Paul Stephenson stated that, ‘the signs of “inflammatory language related xenophobia” are hard to spot at first; you may see people staring at unattended Macdonalds bags on a bus or avoiding anybody with a beard.
‘There is a risk that this may progress to actual verbal abuse or physical violence towards appropriate minorities. If this occurs, please contact the police, or if possible attract the attention of a patrolling police officer. However, to avoid the chance of a critical misunderstanding, you should try to avoid officers carrying guns.’
Police forces are around the country are,however, still stressing the need to remain aware of the threat from terrorists from within the UK. ‘In particular’, Stephenson explains, ‘those seen purchasing The Daily Mail and The Daily Express should not be approached under any circumstances as these fundamentalist zealots are likely to be highly volatile and could be extremely dangerous.’