Dick Turpin knighted in New Year’s Honours
It was announced today that notorious highwayman Dick Turpin will receive a knighthood in the New Year’s Honours list. “We realise it’s a...
Corpse of Jimmy Carter still more alert than Joe Biden
Despite his recent death, President Carter is seen as the 'youth' option in comparison to Joe 'you can bury me, but you can't get rid of...
Nurses to make up their wages with tips, says Reeves.
Chancellor of the Exchequer, and proud owner of a Casio calculator watch, Rachel Reeves, has announced that to save the NHS money, nurses...
US ready to bring 'democracy' to Greenland
President Trump has indicated America's intention to capture Greenland - sorry, did we say 'capture'? We meant 'liberate'. Yes, liberate....
Tories urge that golf courses rush to identify any ancient walkways on their land
Golf courses are now in a hurry to identify any historic walkways on their land which the public enjoy a right to use, as they are now at...
Labour to assign nannies to 35 million British homes, deny accusations of nanny statism
Labour Party higher ups are refuting accusations of running a nanny state after parliament passed legislation allocating a female nanny...
Trump’s Christmas Bargain Hunt
President-to-be Trump has hit the headlines yet again regarding his proposals for the US to take over Greenland and the Panama Canal....
Record number of prisoners ‘freed early by mistake’ re-offend by mistake
Prison bosses, still reeling from accusations that they have released a record number of prisoners by mistake, are mistakenly welcoming...
Bank of England raises concerns UK economy may have 'disappeared'
The UK is facing an uncertain future today as it appears possible that the UK economy has simply vanished. Financial experts at The...
No mince-spies for Andrew
Prince Andrew has been banned from the Royal Christmas, following his links to Chinese spies - as opposed to his links to sex...
