In a move which will shock many traditionalists, the Royal family will be shared with France in an effort to cut down on costs. The French President, an office so long associated with philandering and corruption, will be replaced and France will revert to being a monarchy under the rightful rule of the Queen.
'Ever since Agincourt we've been looking at ways of sharing a monarch with France,' said David Cameron, announcing the move. 'This measure will allow our monarchy to be used more efficiently, whilst being paid for by taxes levied on French peasant farmers and enforced by roaming bands of knights in the French countryside.'
It is understood the deal will include measures to ensure Prince Philip remains permanently at sea, ready to be deployed against 'slitty-eyed foreigners' within 45 minutes.
Prince Charles will be sent on a vital mission to talk to French vegetables, fully funded by the taxpayer.