Very exciting start to this month, with lots of subs and the editors posting above average numbers - fantastic. The top four positions show a really close competition. Hyperlinks to subs on the blog, as usual.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
YES!
BINGO
Throngsman -Just looked at the Blog,although I'd like the points,Brexit Turd set for Trafalgar Square 4th Plinth wasn't one of mine.
It was, according to the archives! I've just had a quick trawl through the writer's room, got to page 14 and gave up - probably missed it on page 3 - could the real writer please stand up and be counted?
I think it was yours, Tony. Originally under the title 'Lest we forget'?
Lest we forget -AND I forgot.
Thanks,apologies for giving you extra work Throngsman
No apologies needed. I make mistakes (most don't seem to get noticed), editors make mistakes - name attribution is a drop down and it's easy to pick the wrong one. Gratz on doing so well this month.
At the risk of being 'that guy' I think I had 3 NiBs when you did the mid-month count
Sorry, of little consequence obvs...
No apologies needed. I make mistakes (most don't seem to get noticed), editors make mistakes - name attribution is a drop down and it's easy to pick the wrong one.
As a 'thank-you', t-m, may I offer you the following link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JwEYamjXpA
You may find the most interesting part well into the lecture, when he talks about probability. Unlikely things are much more likely than most people expect.
At the risk of being 'that guy' I think I had 3 NiBs when you did the mid-month count
Highly probable, I'll look tonight.
cheers...and a global sorry for the 'obvs'
It took some finding, but I'd typed two of your NiB lookup tables as A,Mantra instead of A.Mantra (strictly I'd typed it incorrectly once and Excel autofilled the second one is my guess). I have three columns for NiBs because although in general we only have two NiBs a day sometimes we have three (and in fact that has happened four times this last week) Once a contributor is entered in a column for a second or subsequent time Excel autofills as soon as I start typing. As it happened two of your NiBs were correctly typed in in one of the columns, incorrectly in the other.
Consequently you have an awesome score at the moment, but so does YaBasta so I expect to see jackets off and shirtsleeves rolled up by dawn.
I wouldn't worry too much, t-m.
Imagine how it would be if Chris Grayling were awarding the WoM, with Daine Abbott doing the arithmetic for him.
I feel an article on Excel Spreadsheets coming...sorry for the trouble.
A.Mantra has stormed up the leaderboard this month, snatching the virtual mug from nickb. YaBasta has been chasing AM's tail all month but to no avail. Third place goes to Tonymc81 - great work all. Full details on the blog and full list of tickers can be found below.
Tickers
A.Mantra
Trump welcomes Colonel Sanders to US Presidential race
Adrian Bamforth
Christ-eating Pope reveals he is ‘stickler for hygiene’
Al Opecia
Banksy reveals new piece on Westminster wall – “Spaff!” More soon.
Commemorative 50p coin now worth 49p. More soon.
Grayling to be imprisoned in a wet paper bag. More soon.
Grayling to be imprisoned in a wet paper bag. More soon.
Leavers demanding Parliament’s Sovereignty back, pissed off when it’s exercised. More Soon
May to stuff dead horse and wheel it into Commons for fourth time. More soon
May’s next arrival in Commons to be accompanied by ‘let’s do the Time Warp again’ More soon.
Antharrison
“Let’s all go down the pub” tops indicative vote list
Trump Celebrates International Pussy-Grabbing Day
apepper
Amazon ban sales of knives to government ministers
Government stockpiling cannabis so Brexit will make sense
May rejects link between cutting police numbers and fewer policemen
Microsoft introduces “resigning from the government” template
MPs to vote that falling off cliff won’t hurt. More soon.
Benvoleo
For Sale: 17.4 million ‘I left the EU on 29th March’ T-shirts – 5p each
Chipchase
World first as football referee reverses penalty decision after players complain
Crayon
‘Leave means leave’ says man who expects to still shag wife and see kids. More soon.
Farage’s 8th attempt to make it to Parliament ends in pub lunch. More Soon.
Home Secretary approves abortion up to 9 months 3 weeks. More later.
Curiousmatt
First all-female spacewalk cancelled as astronauts turn up in matching outfits
Deskpilot3
Free at last from EU bureaucracy – Government to legislate on letter box height.
Dick Everyman
Fears grow as Province of Modena becomes an official Balsamic State
Dominic_mcg
Children lost in the woods for 2 days survived by eating gingerbread house.
Chronophile excluded from school for drawing a clock on the blackboard.
Corbyn misses train home after refusing to share platform with Chuka Umunna. More soon.
Dairy farmers concerned about Moomoo Challenge. More soon
Government to start means testing friends with benefits. More soon.
Investigation under way as footballer attacked by fan didn’t drop like a stone. More later.
Maradona owns up to paternity of 3 more kids but still not that handball.
Sir Cliff Richard furious after being named as member of anonymity campaign. More later.
Tongue splitting tattooist jailed. “Can’t say fairer than that,” said victim. More soon.
Will Self and Mark Francois TV stare-off enters second day. More soon.
Gerontius
Former Sugababe diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. More later.
Guido Drapatolli
Bercow: It’s NOT a wig, it’s a floor mop. More soon.
Guido Drapatolli
Pope to accept God’s resignation. More soon.
Mick Turate
Fears grow for Chris Grayling as no cock-ups reported for several days.
Midfield Diamond
Brexit ‘beyond May’. More soon.
MzWibble
China offers help to restore democracy in UK if Brexit fails. More soon.
David Cameron sighted deep in Congo jungle. More soon.
GeneralReferElecterRendumion proposed by Ineptependent Group. More soon.
Government in routine defeat. More soon.
Remainers torn between stockpiling outrage or ‘I told you so’s’. More later.
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
S*r C**f R******d joins anonymity campaign. More later.
Shock – as Vince Cable discovered to have been leader of the Lib Dems
Newsdesk
Basket of goods to include spoon, tinfoil, disposable lighter and laxative. More later.
EU flies its flag upside down as signal of distress. More later.
nickb
Government stockpiling gaffes
Karen Bradley and Christopher Grayling to form new ‘praty’
Woman who feels no pain still Prime Minister
Riesler
Jonathan Ross to deliver eulogy for Ranking Roger
Rogerg
UK PM deploys legally binding turd polish. More later.
Sinnick
California: death penalty by hanging to be suspended. More soon.
Smart Alex
After losing her voice, May continues Brexit talks through medium of dance. More soon.
Throngsman
Asda to stop selling kitchen knives, Walmart to still sell handguns. More later.
Titus
As fast as UK tries to leave EU, gales blow the island back towards Europe. More soon.
Boeing recruits suicidal Jihadists as only people willing to fly 737 MAX 8s. More soon.
Brexit row: should extension sought from EU have 3-Pin or just 2-Pin plug? More soon.
Knives re-designed to be safer are pointless. More later.
Labour Party loses Opposition contract to satire websites. More later.
May described as ‘Historic, Weak in Parliament’. More later.
May To Create Special New Cabinet Post For Grayling: Minister Of Incompetence
Row, Now, Over Whether Can Should Be Kicked Yards Or Metres Down The Road
Shock as May’s latest proposal is defeated by modest instead of massive margin. More later.
UK calmly says ‘OK fair enough, we’ll just stay in then’. More soon.
Tonymc81
Boris to host International Women’s Day event at Soho Strip Club
Daffy Duck fails to get his Bill through Parliament. More soon.
Helicopter excursion was a chargeable extra say owners of stricken cruise ship
Hereditary Peer, 3rd Earl of Oxford and Asquith brands EU undemocratic. More later.
Inventor of the calculator dies at age 100-23 +9
Congratulations to A.Mantra as well as to YaBasta & Tonymc81. And a big thank-you (as ever) to throngsman for all the toil.
Great work A.M.
Some really A+ offerings this month and a thoroughly deserved win.
Well done to TM as ever for the keeping of tabs.
Cheers. I've enjoyed submitting - I had no expectations, so this is pretty dope (a word I've never used before in written or verbal form, just to emphasise the surprise).
I doth the old imaginary cap to fellow submitters. I really enjoyed a lot of the published articles, including (in no particular order):-
Office worker still unsure whether to talk about rugby or football today
Backstop provision to merge with offside rule
Electoral Commission to investigate bloke down the pub.
BBC accidentally shows Good Morning Britain pilot instead of new Alan Partridge show
Film classification now to include pretentiousness rating
Heroin now legal if sold with slogan “When the fun stops, stop”
Karen Bradley: ‘I didn’t realise Northern Ireland was in the north of Ireland’
Man unwittingly ushers in spring by eating the last of the Christmas Twiglets
Success, as 3 million of the 16 million original remainers still support remain
NB - At the risk of sounding preachy, having read a lot of the comments over the past 6/7 weeks, how about a bit more bonhomie, guys? Just a thought.
Big hairy gratz!
Well, of course, that one.... *wink*
Many thanks Throngsman.just looking for a suitable Ribbon for my Bronze.
Congratz A Mantra ..
Mug sawn off nickb's head and welded onto A Mantra
thanks to throngsman as always
Mug sawn off nickb's head and welded onto A MantraThat hurt!
But Government stockpiling gaffes is not one of mine, sad to say
You do realise that the free movement of mugs will be severely restricted after Brexit.
You do realise that the free movement of mugs will be severely restricted after Brexit.
But I hear there'll be lots of compensations in the post-Brexit Utopia, e.g. six-year-old chimney-sweeps and gibbets at every crossroads.
Nick, it was erroneously attributed to you, according to the backroom, but a mere 28 page scroll through the writer's room reveals it was written by apepper.
You must log in to post.