A sperm donor who grew tired of being labelled a professional wanker has now rebranded himself as Britain's foremost fertility solutions provider.
Terry Davis, CEO of the newly spawned Fertility Solutions, says he got the idea from a colleague who'd previously been labelled a 'piss taker', but had re-invented himself with the brand 'Urogenital solutions partnership'.
'It's all a load of pretentious bollocks I know, but it has to be done,' says Davis. 'At least I'm not going round using phrases like brand beckham.'