“It’s all ice! And under the ice? Nothing. Just water!” said Vladimir Putin at a press conference yesterday. The visibly shocked Russian Prime Minister continued, “Why didn’t anybody mention this? You can’t plant a flag in the ocean. This really is a very big let down.”
Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenburg also expressed consternation at the news. “Who’d have thought it? We had all these plans to put down some decking and do a nice rock garden feature. But that’s all ruined now.”