The recent trend by Celebrities to secure Super Injunctions in a bid to prevent the media from printing often true, sometimes scurrilous, but generally entertaining and bizarre revelations against them has led The Law Society to grant approval for a DIY Super Injunction product to be developed for the masses.
Mr Basil Hubertson QC, Chair of The Law Society met with press yesterday to explain more about this previously unprecedented initiative. “We felt that in the interest of justice for all, and overlooking the potential gold mine that legal firms could tap into, that it was important that everyone have access to the full might of the law.” “Why should Super Injunction’s be solely available to the super rich, surely in our opinion everyone should have access to such legal protection regardless of whether they are a professional footballer, a corrupt councillor or a chav prostitute from Wakefield who appears on the X-Factor.”
The Law Society have authorised the release of a DIY Super Injunction Kit loosely based upon the same concept of Write You Own Will Kit. It will be available in the high street from outlets such as Iceland, Wilkinson, Lidl, Aldi and other well known retailers. Whilst The Law Society acknowledges that technically it won’t be worth the paper it is written on, at least the lower classes can continue to copy their favourite celebrities and have a Super Injunction of their own.
Chloe Mafia, the chav prostitute who claims that her appearance on the X-Factor and the ensuing press coverage has ruined her life wishes she had been able buy a DIY Super Injunction herself. “Well, like, ya know, if I had been like able to buy one it would have all been different wouldn’t it like, ya know.” Apparently Chloe’s clients are now too scared to attend her group bonding sessions, which are in fact according to The Sun nothing more than seedy, sinister and filthy orgies. If Chloe had been able to purchase a DIY Super Injunction we would of course not be able to print that statement!
Our reporter wasn’t quite sure what her slang, chav statement means, but felt that it fit in with the context of the story, innit!