Ed Miliband has today announced that he will be taking on the Conservative government in a new way- by arranging a huge fight between New Labour and The Coalition, with Miliband taking on David Cameron himself.
Mr Miliband announced the plans in the middle of the Labour conference today, telling supporters "We'll take on those bloody top hats and win hands down, they're a bunch of Gays!" This was followed by much cheering from Labour supporters. Mr Miliband then asked if anyone was with him, followed by quiet grumbling and murmers from some brave individuals.
David Miliband has reported that he will be backing his little brother all the way in the fight. "I'll be right there by Ed's side, all the time- except if the police come, then I'll blame it on him, like when we were little."
David Cameron told reporters that he was raring to go in the fight. "Oh, I'll be there, fighting for the Tories. They might think that we're all a bit soft, but we have one advantage over them- if things start getting really hairy, we can call for back up from the readers of The Daily Mail. They'll give them what for." Rumours that Nick Clegg would be helping David Cameron in the fight were squashed today when journalists discovered him in a small tent near where the fight was going on, making bacon sandwhiches and cups of coffee.