Good start to the year, with nickb just in the lead ahead of Wren, with a gaggle of others slipstreaming the pair of them. All the links, as usual, on the blog
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
January 2019 WOTM comp - mid month
(21 posts) (11 voices)
-
Well, Wren pulled back and overtook nickb and took the lead for the first competition of the New Year. Some great entries this month and hardly any mention of Brexit. All the subs can be found with hyperlinks on the blog and the ticker list is below the leader board, all as usual.
Adrian Bamforth
Chinese confirm they can’t see the wall from the dark side of the moon. More soon
Jeremy Corbyn doesn’t rule out second general election. More soon.Al Opecia
Arlene Foster judged ‘Borderline insane’. More soon.
May turns a corner into a cul-de-sac. More soon
Scotsman breaks down in public. More soon. More soon.Alfred Noakes II
Woman given impotence cream for eye problem causes raised eyebrows. More soon
apepper
Amazon boss leaves wife on doorstep, puts card through letterbox. More soon
Corbyn says he won’t attend talks he wasn’t invited to. More soon.
Grayling points out that Hitler was jolly cross about losing WW2. More soon.
Queen calls for more common ground “which, of course, I own”Badger Nadgers
Duke of Edinburgh crash: Forensics show no prince left at scene
Benvoleo
‘Gammon decrying veganuary’ to replace ‘turkeys voting for Christmas’. More soon
Bobski
County lines drug dealers demand no hard border between Kent and Surrey. More soon.
Eyes to the right, nose to the left: John Bercow painted by Pablo Picasso. More soon.
Robbie Williams: I always act like a dick, it wasn’t just to annoy my neighbour. More soon.Bravenewmalden
Andy Murray embarks on new career as motivational weeper. More soon.
Candide
‘Take cat off the table’ demands Corbyn as condition for talks with refreshments. More soon.
Chipchase
‘Injury Lawyers 4 You’ Rep arrested for trespass on Sandringham Estate. More soon.
May: ‘Defeat on my Brexit deal nothing more than a slight flesh wound’. More soon.Crayon
Crying Scotsman goes off the rails. More soon
Prince Philip's guest appearance on Top Gear in the can. More soon.
Tory baggage still blocking the Brexit. More soon
Tory Brexiteers agree plans to outsource sovereignty to G4SDick Everyman
It’s not just another store closure, it’s an M&S store closure… More soon.
Dominic_mcg
‘We won’t tolerate misogynistic rap lyrics any longer’ say bitches and hoes.
4 year old child fails to ring ambulance after Mum collapses. More soon.
A No Deal Brexit ‘will mean more reality dance shows on TV’. More soon.
Apple’s fall predicted by Newton. More soon.
China mission finds vegan sausage roll on Moon’s dark side. More soon.
Corbyn urges end of Zombie Government. May says Boris can’t help his looks. More soon.
Family who had to sit on floor of a TUI plane were not the Corbyns. More soon.
Job centre workers to lose jobs in low unemployment paradox. More soon
Magazine collectors told “Keep your People’s Friends close and your NMEs closer.
Mike Ashley plans to buy the UK. More soon
Norfolk man loses wife, sister and cousin in accident. Her funeral is nest week. More soon.
Paris nude restaurant goes bust after drop in covers. More soon
Trump denies he worked in Russia. It was more an internship. More soon.
Universities to offer Accounting on Creative Arts courses. More soon.fivespires
BREAKING: Duke of Edinburgh is still alive. More soon.
May’s hopes dashed as finding David Cameron in the shower was just a dreamIan Searle
Director defends Mary Queen of Scots saying it is a period piece. More soon.
Dyson to leave UK creating huge vacuum.
Government publishes recipe for Stone Soup in preparation for Brexit
Iain Duncan Smith secures post Brexit trade deal with Cloud Cuckoo Land
May accepts challenge of a ‘Bird Box Brexit’. More soon.
May asks Duke of Edinburgh to help steer UK through Brexit. More soon.
MSPs say if all school music lessons were ‘Free’ we’d be ‘Alright Now’Jetfab
Government denies NHS ten-year plan refers to waiting times. More soon
Max Stars
No I don’t own the road, but my wife does! More soon.
Mick Turate
Ant wins best rehab and most acrimonious divorce awards
Captain Flinders proved to have discovered Euston Station.
Government thanks the Palace for Brexit diversion. More soon.
UK to demand EU aid in the event of a no-deal Brexit. More soon.Newsdesk
BREXIT UPDATE: Traitors’ Gate to be widened. More soon.
Lorry smugglers arrested in Ramsgate. More soon
Outlook for British manufacturing boosted by announcement of Spitfire Mark XXV. More soon
Trump’s wall threatens US electorate with cocaine price rise.nickb
Estate agent gets really wide angled lens. More soon.
Oxbridge
Racist Brexshit morons and elitist Remoaner snowflakes to be nicer to each other. More soon
Paul L
Lionel Richie’s son to be detained all night long. More soon.
Primark: head, shoulders, knees and toes above competitorsron cawleyoni
Bank of England cuts interest rates to help people afford Cauliflower Steaks. More soon.
Duke of Hazard. More soon.
James Dyson from Brexit to Exbrit.
May is the Winter of our Discontent…To Plan B or to not Plan B. More soon
Panto season over but Wishy Washy performances continue in Parliament. More soonSasa Stankovic
World Ends as Janitor Changes Batteries in Doomsday Clock
Scronnyglonkle
Queen joins Provisional Wing of the Womens Institute
Sinnick
Kent townsfolk worried about "No Deal"
Sir Lupus
Northern Ireland lottery winners to spend it all on buying DUP. More soon.
Throngsman
Oh dear, how sad, never mind
Stonewall beats border wall
Unicorns prepared to stand in when fat lady singers strike. More soon.Titus
Corgi To Launch Special ‘Prince Philip Crash’ Version Of Their Model Range Rover
Desperate refugees risk lives fleeing EU paradise to reach British Food Banks. More soon.
New Paul Simon song: ‘Fifty ways to leave your political union’. More soon.
Shamed Jihadists admit ‘We couldn’t possibly cause as much mayhem as Brexit has’. More soon.
Uncertainty over Commons’ vote – Was it a catastrophe or just a disaster for May? More soon.
Widespread calls for a ‘People’s General Election’. More soon.Tonymc81
Rees-Mogg ‘British workers just as capable as foreigners of being exploited as cheap labour’
Wrenfoe
Most people can’t fit into skinny genes
Posted 6 months ago # -
Have you been given a one-star rating which was not your fault?
Have you been involved in a PPI (Pathetic Post being Ignored) scandal?
You may be eligible for compensation. [Like you may win the lottery, but it's unlikely.] Contact TitusScam Enterprises NOW for details of our no-win-no-fee-no-compensation-no-comebacks-just-give-us-all-your-money-you-gullible-twat
scamscheme.Posted 6 months ago # -
Ho do we contact the Satirist Watchdog?
If you think you have a valid claim then PM me your bank details - all of them. Do this even if you don't have a claim.Al, apologies - I missed the last ticker, but you are on the leaderboard on the blog. I don't post tickers on the blog as it's a vehicle to drive passing readers to look at NB and posting the tickers doesn't do that.
Crayon, also apologies, an oversight. Probably not the only one, either.
I'll update the spreadsheet that feeds into writer of the year so you won't lose points in that competition. I *think* my PM is finally working again so contributors can PM me mistakes spotted (or just pillory me here - it's not like I give a f&ck).
Why are the month-end results posted under the title "mid month"?
senior moment, I guess.Posted 6 months ago # -
The mug was stuck on the m3 last night but has now reached wren
Congrats wren and everyone.
Thanks to tm as always
Posted 6 months ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.