This weeks biannual staging of the Ryder cup at Celtic Manor resort Newport has taken a violent and macabre twist.
Police have uncovered a hate plot against the world's number one golfer and sex addict Tiger Woods.
Dwayne Jones (34) of Ringland is currently wanted by the police who have uncovered a terror plot against Tiger Woods. It is believed that Mr Jones has a deluded belief that Tiger Woods will shag his on off girlfriend / skank whore Cheryl Evans during the week that he is in Newport.
"It all started when I heard that Tiger was likely to be involved in foursomes on the Friday and Saturday" said Ms Evans. "I said to my Dwayne - I'd love to be there for those foursomes when Dwayne went mental - saying that Tiger's stroke play and short game was nothing compared to his"
Mr Jone's terror campaign is believed to include playing loud inappropriate music at Tiger Woods whilst he is on the Twenty Ten Course.
Songs he intends to play are Tiger Feet, Eye of the Tiger, Bawdy rugby songs about the sexual prowess of Mr Woods and Queen's "We are the Champions" whenever Europe take a shot.