Controversial plans to speed up PMQ in order to make it more relevant in today's ever changing society were unveiled in the Commons yesterday.
No longer will the PM be able to brush aside awkward questions with a hastily concocted put down but will instead be rigorously grilled by Opposition members until they get an adequate response.
From next month MPs will not only get the chance to put their questions to the Prime Minister, but also intimidate and torture him into giving a fair and honest answer.
The move has caught many experienced Tory MPs unawares, with some now desperately trying to brush up on their torture techniques, not having taken part in any ritualistic brutal and humiliating interrogation since public school days.
Since the news broke last week, it is rumoured the second series DVD box set of The Sweeney has been openly changing hands for up to £100 an episode on the Whitehall black-market.
Sales of angle poise lamps and Bic lighters have rocketed in and around the Westminster village with many MPs now having to take up smoking once again.
Junior ministers have been frantically trying to come up with sinister sounding 'tags' in an attempt to make their senior colleagues sound more menacing when facing the PM across the despatch box, although most agree William 'The Hacksaw' Hague seems to be stretching credulity a little too far.
However, in a trial run at the House earlier this month it was Hague who was first to his feet with a sharp reminder of what is to come
'Can the PM promise the House that spending on the NHS has been ring-fenced and that services will not suffer as a result of the economic downturn - YOU SLAG - and before you answer, maybe this lock of hair will help you think long and hard about what you are about to say. Pretty little thing - your wife.
The PM rose to his feet but was still clearly distracted by the pain following an exchange with Tory 'baglady' Anne Widdicombe who had earlier pulled out his fingernails with a pair of pliers for not repealing the law on same sex marriages....proving the nickname Doris Karloff was not to be taken lightly.
Next up was Shadow Transport Secretary, Theresa Villiers who coolly lit a cigarette and left the packet within easy reach of the PM without offering him one.
She then blew smoke across the floor, into his face and sneered menacingly
'Can the Right Honourable Gentleman for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath tell the House if the roadwork’s on the A38 around Bridgwater will be finished before the start of the holiday season? It is a busy main road and you must be worried about letting young children walk to school - alone - we know where you live and it can be very dangerous. You wouldn't want anything to happen to your little girl, now would you? Some of those pot-holes are very deep, we wouldn't want anybody falling down one, especially a little girl. Wouldn't you agree?
The PM was quick to respond and promised the roadworks would be complete and added ‘please,please - don't hurt her, I beg you...she's all I've got’.
So, working already.
Critics were quick to point out that although water boarding and a quick cattle prod to the genitals might strike fear into the heart's of Labour politicians the Tories would simply brush the threat aside as these practices are still considered routine punishment for those who hadn't got the right change sorted out in the queue for the tuck shop.