Forum

The NewsBiscuit Community

Sign up or log in - lost password?

Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

D'ya know....


(82 posts) (25 voices)
  • Started 2 years ago by Mary Evans
  • Latest reply from afternoonslow

Tags:

  • A socialist blacksmith did hanker...
  • Cart-horse
  • Dairylea
  • do they allow access to NB in Broadmoor?
  • e (13)
  • Firkin aerosols
  • First up against the wall
  • Fist up against the wall
  • Here we go again
  • It's senselessness - don't know why I bother
  • Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
  • Mentallers
  • Miliband For Life
  • Orchestra
  • Shagging Archers
  • They deserved sacking
  • Toady of Toady hall
« Previous123Next »
  1. afternoonslow

    offline
    Member

    The poem now standing at platform 2 is the delayed 1917 service...'

    Mr. Cohen, yes it is, these are the words of a man who knew he was doomed, that he would never see England again......an officer serving on the Western Front ….........he was killed shortly after they were written.......
    ...they echo down through the years of the twentieth century, I think that this must have been the inspiration for Emett's far-twittering railway series of cartoons and paintings that were very popular during the next war........and whence my afternoonslow has been lifted.....Ricketswell, I also enjoy the nonsense of that celebrated mathematician, Lewis Carroll..........and Oxbridge, I have never once told anyone here to fuck off, the above is a copy and paste from An. Others' joke, I expect you'll see the funny side of it now..

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    I don't think Dr. Beeching helped much either.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. rickwestwell

    offline
    Member

    "Put that bloody cigarette out!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. fernandomando

    offline
    Member

    Imagine if it was still as it was in 1971 and our nation was invaded by some advanced rogue state. Might the message of hostility be along the following lines:

    'Your collectivist inefficient industrialized infrastructure is as nothing compared to our superior technological might. By the power invested in us from utterly reasonable and progressive views of sexual equality, we laugh at your pathetic attempts to thwart our invasion by means of self destructive general strikes and three day weeks.
    We do not fear your wasteful and horrific workplaces that send men underground to ultimately die of respiratory industrial diseases in the name of close knit community. Nor do we fear your irrational isolationism from the rest of the world based on a misplaced view of the greatness of your nation.
    Your outdated views of racial division, akin to slavery in our minds, will not prevent the invasion of your great nation. We have all seen your situation comedies and your Bernard mannings and we know the truth.
    You may have government run transport networks, a society where everyone knows their place, and a class system riddled with class and a lack of social mobility, but we have superior weapons, finances and efficiency.
    Your outdated, post industrialist naive views that no one does a hard days work without mining a coalface with their own teeth is as nothing compared to our computer guided missile technology.
    Your criminal laws of evidence that actively discriminate against Jews does not scare us, nor does your death penalty or complete absence of a recognition of human rights (especially following the horrors of WW2).
    You might find refuge in Bejam, but we have lidl. And we fear not this nylon of which you speak.'

    I have to say, if this was the message, I'm sure we'd all rally round together and defeat this hideous aggressor.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. FormerlyAlOPecia

    offline
    Member

    And the dielectic lights are out.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. afternoonslow

    offline
    Member

    Come away, Lord Haw Haw, we've been expecting you;

    "Germany calling, Germany calling".

    Your puny, decadent nation will be utterly destroyed by the Glorious Might of National Socialism...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. fernandomando

    offline
    Member

    For some reason I have thoughts about the road to Hull being paved with good vibrations...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. FormerlyAlOPecia

    offline
    Member

    Ed Milliband is about as Socialist as Elmer Fudd.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. fernandomando

    offline
    Member

    But I think afternoonslow is a nationalism socialist...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. The All New Jeni B

    offline
    Member

    Brothers and Sisters of the NB Collective...
    The time has now come to invoke the might of the "La la la" weapon.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. Mary Evans

    offline
    Member

    Don't you mean... the Mnah Mnah weapon?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. FormerlyAlOPecia

    offline
    Member

    Doo Doo De Do dah

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    Da de da de da de da

    Da de diddly da...

    Someone on the Archers said "Shagging" this week. It's the end of civilisation as we know it.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. Doctor Moptop

    offline
    Member

    Scroat, it's an agricultural term for something unpleasant done to sheep.

    I think you'll find.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. Oxbridge

    offline
    Member

    Hey, lay off Afternoonslow. He's my mate now.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. andhrimnir

    offline
    Member

    who said shagging? I only get the synopsis and it wasn't penned there. Bet it was that old slapper Kathy Perks.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    It's getting a bit racy. Kenton's been going on about how good his new conquest is in bed, and Elizabeth referred to him shagging one of his customers.

    I mean.

    While I'm on, can you help with the last clue in Saturday's Independent prize crossword? The clue is:

    "Wife in possession of one cold diner's fresh drink?" (3, 5)

    I-E -A-E-

    ICE MAKER? ICE LAGER?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    ICE WATER?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    Yes - it's ice water. W = wife, I = 1, C = cold + EATER.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. andhrimnir

    offline
    Member

    Lizzie, well bloody hell. I ought to put her over my knee and give her a good spanking (mmm).
    The synopsis only referred to it as a "one night stand", then again, I would have spat coffee all over the keyboard had I read "Lizzie berates a boastful Kenton for shagging one of his customers."

    Posted 2 years ago #
  21. nealdoran

    offline
    Member

    And that, while no doubt being correct Scroat, is precisely why cryptic crosswords are just completely stupid.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  22. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    Each to his own Mr D. Sweetness and light, that's me.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  23. nealdoran

    offline
    Member

    Quite right Scroat. And my view is in no way a reflection of the fact I can't do the things, and understand them less after seeing the answers.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  24. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    So the 'Listen Again' thing doesn't work in your neck of the woods then Sooty?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  25. andhrimnir

    offline
    Member

    There's probably some clever IP tracing goes on - either that or you get a special cookie if you pay the licence fee.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  26. Mary Evans

    offline
    Member

    I"m with Babs on this one - I don't even understand cryptic crosswords when I've been given the answer. Thus they must be defective in some way as it can't possibly be me at fault.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  27. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    Now then children...

    "Wife in possession of one cold diner's fresh drink?" (3, 5)

    Wife in its abbreviated form 'W' is in possession of (ie contained by) one (I) cold (abbreviation C) and EATER (diner)

    I + C + EATER with W inserted.

    Simples.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  28. Scroat

    offline
    Member

    How about this:

    'Gges' (9, 4)

    Bit of chestnut really.

    Or you could try:

    "Observed how the English like their beer" (7)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  29. andhrimnir

    offline
    Member

    10 Down: Extra smell at sunrise (5)

    was one of my favourites from "The Stinker". (The answer being "bonus").

    Posted 2 years ago #
  30. andhrimnir

    offline
    Member

    Ghoti (4) (=fish)

    and

    very large fish (7) (= special)

    both tickled me.

    Posted 2 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

« Previous123Next »

Reply »

You must log in to post.