The announcement of Ed Miliband's success in the Labour leadership contest would have been far better received had it been preceded by an X-Factor like pause, claimed Simon Cowell this morning. 'I think we have shown over the past few years that an unnaceptably long pause builds tension', said Cowell, 'and let's face it, two brothers facing off to lead a major political party should have been dynamite stuff, but in the event was more of a damp squib.'
Cowell also believes that the announcement should have been followed by pyrotechnics and loud music. 'The only thing he did right', he continued, 'was to give a sickening speech thanking his family and for that he should be applauded.'
