In an unexpected but idiosyncratic move, the coalition government announced today that the General Post Office's remaining postal service is to be sold to Domino's Pizza. The company hopes to effect efficiency gains by combining delivery of important private mail and business correspondance with their wide range of made-to-order pizza's.
Domino Pizza Parlours will accumulate all the mail posted to an individual until they place an order for a Hawaiian or Meat Feast, when the tasty meal and hugely anticipated post will arrive on your doorstep at the same tme.
David Brandon, Domino's General Manager said today "this kind of combinatorial delivery is just what is required in today's fast-moving fast-food world." This way we get a loyal customer base, and hard-copy post delivered at virtually zero-cost.
Deputy PM Nick Clegg is said to be "delighted" at the news "it's the kind of coalition we have been promoting all along - one sided, full of calories and results in a big bill at the end".
In related news the Sexton of Westminster Cathedral is reported to have heard strange noises emerging from Sir Robert Peels' grave - "sounded like a low rumble at first, then the noise you hear on 'How it's Made" when they show a high speed lath being used to make baseball bats."