Crewe is Cheshire's sexistiest town.
[On the next page without the Warrington & Widnes pics right above, this just looks like a bloody statement now]
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Crewe is Cheshire's sexistiest town.
[On the next page without the Warrington & Widnes pics right above, this just looks like a bloody statement now]
TBF
It's a pretty low bar
At least it wasn't Knutsford
Probably find Dairylea is Cheshire's favourite cheese
Thank goodness healthy outdoor exercise hasn't stopped during the pandemic
https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/18583898.man-seen-performing-sex-act-bench-totton-park/
If anyone needs a plausible excuse...
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/parts-somerset-smell-like-semen-3216418
I was too slow to take a snapshot, but on the Warrington Guardian online edition the top item was "Warrington takes 2nd place in 'most civilised night out' poll" directly above "Naked woman arrested in fish and chip shop"
If anyone needs a plausible excuse...https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/parts-somerset-smell-like-semen-3216418
Dirty bugger's been jizzing all over Somerset, then writes an article blaming it on the chestnut tree.
The Horse Spaffnut Tree?
dec, I think there were only 2 contestants
We're still basking in the sticky glory of this accolade: It's a dogger's life
I never knew that semen had a smell. Have I been missing something?
What does it smell like? Please don't tell me that it smells like a chestnut tree because I can't smell those, either.
Also, does this mean that Orwell's Chestnut Tree cafe had sexual implications?
The Horse Spaffnut Tree?
Spunky Puzzle?
I never knew that semen had a smell. Have I been missing something?
What does it smell like?
It smells of the forlorn loss of a Rees-Mogg weeping into his stargazy pie.
Guns and winks to LittleSpender and Deceangli for two double-tap local headlines which totally slayed me.
Do we need people like this?
How much does it cost to scrape a corpse off the rocks, send it to a mortuary and reach a verdict of death by misadventure? It's a bargain for the taxpayers, surely.
On the bright side, at least the stupid cow is keeping social distancing (she was photographed almost five miles from where I live).
On the bright side, at least the stupid cow is keeping social distancing (she was photographed almost five miles from where I live).
I'm not completely sure you've grasped the meaning of social distancing, Newsdesk. It isn't all measured from you . . .
If her friend was filming in video mode, she'd get some great footage if it all collapsed. Got to be worth some cash from You've Been Framed.
That sort of thing would never happen in Surrey.
https://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/drunk-man-arrested-rubbing-genitals-19125668
Yes, yes it is worth clicking the link and accepting ridiculous cookies for the full story.
please kill me
https://www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/18804423.tarmac-british-isles-somersets-answer-morning-weather-map/
If they hadn't gone to the trouble of highlighting what the British Isles looks like in several different ways, then the Rees-Mogg family couldn't have stood up, saluted it, and then ensured their taxable income was not accountable on an island of similar shape.
The following story is even more worrying - semi-naked bar staff: I don't mean topless
Essex. Where else? 3 Adolescents rescued from tumble drier. Not quite in the top echelon for attempting a Darwin Award for removing yourself from the gene pool, as they used a mobile phone to summon help. Such a shame they managed to get a phone signal from said tumble dryer, or they would have been awarded a Darwin Gold for utter stupidity!
Warrington Guardian currently displays an ad titled:
"Bowels: a simple trick to empty them completely"
.. with a picture of the result. Not sure if that's better or worse than the ubiquitous pic of fresh ear-wax
Unfortunately, copying the "sponsored link" doesn't show the same
If you're in Bracknell and fancy taking your jacket in for a cleaning dip in fish oil
You missed the best part of that article, where it has a link to another story just over a picture of fish and chips: Bracknell residents outraged as man keeps pooing on Birch Hill.
Bracknell, the plaice that keeps on giving.
Or what about the side-link on that same page (that leads the unwary clickbait addict to the page they're already viewing) that reads "New 'professional' fish and chips shop could be on its way to Bracknell"
I don't know which is more worrying. The fact that you'd ever describe a fish and chips shop as professional, as if all the others were simply hobbyists, or the fact that you then put professional inside inverted commas as if you didn't really mean professional.
You can get 'professional' shampoo and toothpaste these days.
I do use some of this stuff but I'm always worried that someone will find out that I'm not actually a 'professional'.....
Could I get into trouble?
Do I need qualifications to use their toothpaste?
The law is very clear on this, Gerontius. As long as you use barrels of taxpayer money to pay Deloitte to administer all tooth and hair cleaning activity, then that's as professionally as you can get.
I'm a bit worried how the Chinese takeaway will react to sharing its shopping precinct territory with a decadent western chip shop.
This begs a consideration of who "professional ladies" are
Does this mean that Kate Hoey, Nicky Morgan, Tessa Jowell & Christine Blower have income that should be declared to the HoL ?
And who would prefer "amateur ladies", ie those who don't charge ?
It's all very confusing
I never pay my toothpaste. Maybe that's why I've got fillings - I've been using amateur toothpaste.
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