The relationship between UK and Iceland reached freezing point yesterday, as Prime Minister Gordon Brown has finally lost his patience with Iceland over the £2Billion it owes the UK Government.
The cover story of Eyjafjallajoekull volcano erupting appears to be successful. Sources close to Whitehall have revealed that Britain's weapons of mass destruction are capable of setting off any volcano, anywhere, within 45 minutes.
UK Government requested £1Billion to be paid by midnight last Friday. This was not forthcoming by Iceland, and 9 points will be deducted from them at the start of the next Eurovision Song Contest.
Joe Kull, Iceland Minister, had cited repayment options under old UK Child Support Agency conditions, at £2.47 per week. Iceland would have paid the debt back by 3123, by which point Iceland would simply be known as "Da Lnd", to reflect the lack of ice, to increase tourism, and so that it can "get down" with the kids.
Airspace has been closed around Eyjafjallajoekull as the tactical second wave of shock and aweful continues. Ant and Dec's Push the Button will be broadcast on all channels, and DVDs of the show will be delivered first class by the Royal Mail, every day for the next two weeks, thereby securing 250 jobs in Swansea.