Mid month and Myke is going for it again. More details on the blog
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October Writer of the Month Competition
(21 posts) (13 voices)
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WOTM is going to be delayed this month. I'm in rural Wales and have been without Internet or 3/4g for tethering the last couple of days. Vodaphone signal just come back up this morning, if it lasts I'll post results tonight. Otherwise it might be Friday night.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Congrats go to Chippy this month. As usual tickers are below the main results, more info on the blog
Adrian Bamforth
Royal pregnancy announcement leads to rise in calculator sales. More soon
apepper
2nd commemorative coin to mark Brexit Irish border solution will be a square in the shape of a circle
Patient who glimpsed a photo of homeopathic doctor ‘cured’. More soon
Badger Nadgers
Coke supplies dry up as public stockpile drugs for no-deal Brexit. More soon.
Benvoleo
Brexit coin to have “£350m for NHS” on one side, and crossed fingers on the back
Commemorative Brexit pound coin to be a 50 pence piece
Tory conference tears as ‘I believe in Brexit!’ chant restores life to Chequers
Bookiesfriend
John Terry retires to spend more time with teammates’ families
Bravenewmalden
Sacked Waitrose editor ‘didn’t mean to offend vegan idiot’
Chipchase
Boris ‘Chequers not what we voted for… though fuck alone knows what I voted for’
Cartographers ‘sea’ red as Shetland thinks outside of the box
His may be the voice we can’t forget
Chrisf
May offers visual representation of freedom of movement restrictions
Cinquecento
Hammerstein debunked as scientists discover something like a dame
Rees-Mogg ‘has note from matron’ excusing him from running in wheat fields
Crayon
British golfers vote to leave European team and take back control of Ryder Cup
Irish sex workers sceptical of Tory propositions for ‘frictionless trade’
UK and US arms sales to be shipped directly to Saudi embassies. More soon
Deskpilot3
Patisserie Valerie: police search cakes for missing files. More soon
Dick EverymanRing finger findings a clue to gay predisposition. More soon
Dominic_mcg
‘Sex on plane’ teacher denies telling boy to put his hand up. More soon
‘Taking a break from social media’ new euphemism for ‘dead. More soon.
Baker accused of making fake sourdough is not in the yeast bit bothered.
Carole King pens anti Trump song: You’ve got a fiend. More soon.
False widow spider convicted of benefits fraud. More soon.
Green mamba bites man in Prague. Other X-Men distance themselves. More soon.
James Dyson denies rumours that his electric car sucks. More soon.
Low cost airline’s future up in the air, shareholders told. More soon.
Number of students taking drugs shooting up, say GPs. More soon
Protesters furious there won’t be a second People’s March. More soon.
Social services concedes that trans parents are often difficult to see. More soon.
Spiders may starve after post Brexit No Fly Zone implementation. More soon.
Topshop CEO to get more hands-on. More soon.
US Geological Survey employee spread malware getting his rocks off. More soon
FlashArry
Brexit news : Irish border issue to be solved by selling Ulster to the French. More soon.
Gerontius
There are good and bad nail-bombers on both sides’ insists Trump. More soon.
Guido Drapatolli
Bercow invokes ten-year, floating retirement backstop. More soon
Green diagnosed with injunctivitis
McDonnell: “Diane says Hammond’s figures don’t add up”
Soyuz Salisbury trip cancelled
JETFAB
Paul Allen gets blue screen. More soon
MADJEZ
Fart produced from non-Halal food technically a hate crime. More soon
Unions blamed for chronic over-manning in Saudi assassination industry. More soon.
Maverick
Theresa May seeks refuge in Ecuadorian embassy. More soon.
Myke
Biologists alarmed as more and more Buddhists are reincarnated as plastic bags. More soon.
Cabinet join May in dancing to Money, Money, Money and Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Conservatives told ‘go home to your constituencies and prepare to pick your own fruit and vegetables’
Don’t forget, UK clocks go back 50 years in March
Facebook recruits Clegg so it can’t influence elections. More soon.
Happy couple mistake Nicholas Witchell’s tongue for a red carpet
Michael Hurricane blows the bloody doors off
Seann Walsh in three-in-a-bed romp with publicist and accountant
Tories ditch austerity in favour of cuts
Tories will condemn vile abusive language, unless it’s directed at Diane Abbott. More soon.
Weinstein, Kavanagh, Spacey, and Trump launch their own MeToo movement
Zippy, George and Bungle prepare for leadership challenge
nickb
Vince Cable bids to become boss of Friends Reunited. More soon.
Oxbridge
‘Can you have the baby on March 28th?’ May asks Meghan. More soon
‘Canada+’ option adopted as Brexit makes sense when you are off your tits on marijuana. More soon
Paul L
Cartographers discover Shetland Triangle
ron cawleyoni
70s dance craze The Bump now attributed to increase in over 60s hip surgery. More soon.
Blackpool rocked as earthquake tremors halt fracking.
Brazilian electorate declare Bolsonaro best right winger since Jairzinho
I read the news today, oh boy / 4,000 holes near Blackpool, Lancashire. More soon
New Tory dance craze sweeping the country….The Cringe.
Pickles comes out of retirement to help find stolen Tour de France Trophy
Saudis hackers more feared than Russian ones. More soon
Satire1
Silvio Berlusconi saddened Facebook didn’t put him in charge of global affairs. More soon.
Scronnyglonkle
Patisserie Valerie say hole in finances are actually doughnut centres
Russian KGB Poisoning Doctor identified as Dr Struckov
Ryanair agree to waive passengers’ racial abuse fee. More soon.
Sinnick
Austerity coming to an end – to be replaced by economic depression
Concern as price of banter sky-rockets
Sir Lupus
‘Oh, you meant *that* Jamal Kashoggi’ says Saudi consul. More soon.
DUP: NI must be same as GB, so we’re legalising abortion and joining Tory party. More soon
Missing 5% of Brexit deal wording is ‘EU: we agree’. More soon.
Smart Alex
After enjoying a full English, Pooh realises he’s still quite fond of Piglet
Sydalg
“Banksy shredded my homework” now number one school excuse
ThrongsmanMay reacts to Boris photo by shagging husband’s mates and acting like a prick
Unilever denies it can ‘take or leave Netherlands’
Titus
All MI5’s Work To Be Contracted Out To Bellingcat In Future
Britain To Erect Huge Signs ‘No Valuables Are Held In This Country Overnight’
Dignitas complains of ‘unfair competition’ from Pret a Manger. More soon
Festival of early Bond films star Sean Connery. Moore later.
Problem Of Overweight Schoolchildren ‘Getting Bigger’. More soon
Saudi Arabia still wants arms but is ‘OK for other body parts, for now’. More soon
Saudi Embassy criticised for ‘sub-standard’ Health & Safety Assessment. More soon.
Saudis challenged over use of diplomatic body bag. More soon.
Threatened sanctions may block export of sand to Saudi Arabia. More soon
‘Who will rid me of this turbulent journalist?’ asks Crown Prince. More soon.
Tonymc81DUP want kneecapping of Michel Barnier included in UK’s EU negotiations.
Meghan beats Ginger Tosser in welly-wanging contest.
Wrenfoe
New 50p Brexit coin to be worth a ‘whopping’ 5p
Posted 2 years ago # -
Great work Chip and thanks to Throngsman for this labour of love.
I don't mean to criticise but, having got quite excited at getting into double figures for the first time, I notice that my poppies left alert has got lost in the ether somewhere. Adding that in
still leaves me miles behind the leading contributorsgives me another 22 points, right?Posted 2 years ago # -
Congrats Chipchase,
Mug removed from wren and installed on your head.
Thanks as always to throngsman
Posted 2 years ago # -
Congratz to Chip again, loved the AC/DC Krankies piece who could ever forget the
heart rendering tearjerker of 'Who Really Am I'...Brill'
Thanks again to Throngsman for putting it all together in difficult conditions
out in the wilds of rural North Wales.
Could you kindly recheck my tickers as perhaps lack of signals has caused several
of my FP tickers from this week being omitted from true position on leader board.
thanks.Posted 2 years ago # -
Many thanks one and all.
I'm dedicating this win to the Tories - without whom we'd nearly all be out of
a jobideas.Some great stuff from many contributors this month and great to see more new (and some older) faces too.
As ever thanks to TM for his excellent spreadsheetery, keeping-tabbery and for holding it all together.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I suspect there could be a few omissions from the last week, but I don't think it will have affected the overall winner status. I'll try to recheck but I haven't captured any of November's batch yet so that's my WOTM priority, next to finalising my new novel which needs to be ready for mid month. Apologies for any I've missed.
Posted 2 years ago #
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