A gang of Lithuanian squatters moved into a pensioner's home while he was in the outside loo having a piss.
'It's a bleedin' scandal,' said 72-year-old Tom Sides. 'I'd just popped out to the loo for a piss and this migrant family moved in and changed the locks. I could see them in there watching my tele, using my carpet slippers and reading my Daily Mail.'
Mr Sides said he's been told he'll have to get a court order to have the squatters removed.
It's terrible,' said a distraught Mr Sides. ''They must have been watching for when I went for a piss. If I'd been on the loo doing a number two while reading the Daily Mail, they'd probably have carted the whole bloody house off to Lithuania.'