A controversial document will be tabled to the newly elected National Executive Committee of the Labour party after the annual conference next week. All the candidates have seen a draft copy of the document and all have endorsed its contents. Perhaps the most contentious item is a proposed name change of the 100 year old Party to " I ain’t no rich man’s bitch Party".
The author of the report believes that the proposed name change refutes entirely the charge that New Labour has been the plaything of the rich and powerful and helps to put clear water between the perception of a party badly damaged by the expenses scandal.
A poll of senior members reveals that many hated their association with the super rich and were appalled by the prospect at holidaying on a Russian Oligarchs Yacht, kow-towing to Rupert Murdoch and most painful of all being forced to spend weekends with Berlisconi at his luxury villa.
"Many of us were completely stressed at the prospect" one former cabinet member is quoted.
The report answers critics that the new party name sounds disreputable by pointing out the insulting origins of the name of the main political parties. Tory comes from the Irish word tóraidhe meaning robber or brigand whilst Libdem is derived from a Gaelic name given to a ruffian who befriends the victim before clubbing and robbing them down some dark lane.
It concludes that by dropping the name Labour this in effect tides up a sociological anomaly as the policies of the last New Labour Government has ensured that there are no Industrial Working Class left in the country
A Labour Party spokesperson said that the new name offered an exciting prospects for the party. "It distances us from the belief amongst our core vote that we toadied up to the rich as well as putting us closely in touch with the modern multi cultural, multi ethnic 21st Century Britain. The name will particularly appeal to the white middle class youths who like to pretend to be black"
She added, " I am sure that if the pioneers of the party like Lady Keir Nye McDonald came back they would recognise that the new name for the party is firmly rooted in our traditions".
At this stage it has not been decided whether that there ought to be an exclamation or question mark at the end of the new parties name.
