To be sung by athletes every morning to the tune of 'Mull of Kintyre' while falling down the space where the stairs should be.
Oh deary, deary, deary me
I desperately need to have a pee
Ah yes, silly me
I just need to go down to the sea.
Oh dear what shall I do,
I think I need to have a poo.
Let me first put on a shoe,
Ah there it is, the Portaloo.